“My Husband Wants To Divorce Me If I Do Not Quit My Job”

In relationships, just like politics or business, not all partnerships are created equally. Or, as is the case for Reddit user 194842, upheld fairly.

In a post on r/Marriage, the woman explained that she and her husband agreed that she would work until they had kids. However, not even a year had passed, and he started disapproving of her job.

Recently, this culminated in an ultimatum: either become a stay-at-home wife or I walk away. And the man sounds serious.

A happy life consists of different things for different people, but for this woman, her job was one of the main components

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

However, her husband decided to take it away from her

Image credits: lazy_bear / freepik (not the actual photo)

Shortly after publishing her confession, the woman gave an update to provide more context for her situation

Image credits: User_194842 

This story is an example of why women’s participation in the workforce diminishes as they enter committed relationships

Image credits: Drazen Zigic / freepik (not the actual photo)

The arguments against married women working have a history of being personal, even on a broader socio-political level in Western democracies.

For example, in Wisconsin, lawmakers passed a resolution in 1935 stating that when married women with working husbands got jobs, they became the “calling card for disintegration of family life.”

The committee said, “The large number of husbands and wives working for the state raises a serious moral question, as this committee feels that the practice of birth control is encouraged, and the selfishness that arises from the income of employment of husband and wife bids fair to break down civilization and a healthy atmosphere.”

Nowadays, a study by UN Women and the International Labor Force, called ‘The Impact of Marriage and Children on Labour Market Participation,’ reveals that men still tend to have high labor force participation rates regardless of the type of household they live in. Thus, there is little variation in their participation rates (higher than 92 percent across all regions—except Oceania).

For women, on the other hand, labor force participation rates vary significantly, depending upon the household type they belong to. Generally, women in lone-person households have much higher participation rates (82 percent globally) than women in other types of households (64 percent in couple-only households, 49 percent in couple households with a child under six, and 41 percent in extended-family households with a child under six).

The presence of children reduces women’s labor force participation and increases men’s by similar proportions in percentage-point terms. This indicates that women’s realities are different from men’s, based on the type of household they live in.

Women give up their economic independence (mothers in families) or take on more economic responsibility (lone mothers) as household needs dictate. And while we can’t know for certain without the complete picture, since this couple didn’t have any children before the man started making his demands, it sounds like he was turning the Redditor into his dependent, whether he was doing it consciously or not.

The woman’s honesty has touched many people, and they were eager to express their support for her

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