“Do You Speak Canadian?”: 70 Of The Dumbest Questions People Were Ever Asked

There is no shame in not knowing things, if you are willing to learn. Even just asking the right questions is a great start. However, it’s pretty important to note that for every “right” question, there are some semi-incomprehensible and downright dumb “wrong” questions.

Someone asked “What’s the stupidest question someone ever asked you?” and netizens shared the most mind-numbing queries they’ve ever heard. So get comfortable as you scroll through, prepare to be deeply confused, upvote the most unhinged examples and if you’ve also heard a deeply dumb question, feel free to share it in the comments below.

#1

-can you stay overtime?

-am I getting paid extra?

-you are already getting paid a salary

-I get paid for 40 hours a week.

-do it for the company

-what does the company do for me?

-it gives you a job

-I work for money. It’s business. The company keeps me because it’s profitable for the company.

Never work for free, kids.

Image credits: anon

#2

I am quite tall in comparison to the average height of where I live.

A coworker: “Don’t you think you are being a bit inconsiderate, being so tall?”

I still don’t know what they were trying to say.

Image credits: RuinEleint

#3

Her: Whats the longest 5k you ever ran?

Me: 5k

Her: I thought there were longer ones?

Me: Yeah, 8k, 10k, half marathon, etc

Her: so the longest 5k you ever ran was a half marathon?

Me: what the f**k is happening.

Image credits: anon

#4

Was living in my spouses deceased grandparents house. Had a phone call:
Caller: may I speak to Mr. deceased?
Me: uhh no I’m sorry he passed away.
Caller: may I speak to Mrs. diseased then?
Me: she died recently too.
Caller: Well then when you you expect them back.
Me: Hopefully no time soon!!

Image credits: getrealpeople

#5

Client called at 8am, livid, and said “You guys are a terrible company that can’t even build a calendar app right, I tried to make a booking for 30 February and couldn’t even find it. Tell me how do I make a booking for 30 Feb if it only displays till 29 Feb?”

Image credits: athenakang

#6

Was the IT admin for a small company at the time. The power went out, as happens occasionally. The secretary rang my phone and asked me if the phones were working. She did not say she was testing to see, but asked if they were working. over. the. phone.

Image credits: havensal

#7

I was the one asking the stupid question. When I was like 12 I was at a taco food truck at the county fair and my options were either a shrimp or chicken taco. I meant to ask ”is there a difference in price” because the fair always gets ya and instead I only said “what’s the difference?”

The lady said “Well one’s shrimp and one’s chicken.”

And I felt stupid.

Image credits: toothpastenachos

#8

Working in a bar with an upstairs and downstairs, one of the new waiting staff at the end of the night during clean up asked me if she should sweep the dirt up or down the stairs. I said up the stairs and left her to it.

Image credits: AhmeBob

#9

*trying to move one of those big, multi purpose weight machines, and they noticed it’s set to its heaviest setting*

“Why don’t we set it to its lightest setting so it’ll be lighter?”

To their credit, they realized about ten seconds later why that was a dumb question.

Image credits: moe_skweeto

#10

Customer buying a bottle of water at a coffee shop: “Is this real water?”.

Image credits: saucy_awesome

#11

I was talking to someone and mentioned that I had visited Japan the previous year.

“Oh, is that where Japanese people come from?”

I was taken aback for like 3 seconds before I stammered out a yeah.

Image credits: Hailene2092

#12

I live in the Netherlands, and my mother is from Hong Kong. I had to do my dutch presentation about the protests happening right now, and my teacher asked a lot of questions that weren’t talked about in the presentation itself. But of course I could answer them all, and even correct her a few times. My classmates later asked why I know so much about the subject, and so I told them that my mother is from HK. They then proceeded to ask me “why is your mother from Hong Kong”.. I was so confused, and asked what they meant, and they just repeated the question…

Image credits: DetectiveChinatown

#13

“Can you take off your glasses?”

“Yes… I can?” *Takes them off*

“I never knew you can take glasses off”

Image credits: too-many-animals

#14

_as I help my 94 year old granddad set up his walker next to the car, my 81 year old grandma and her two crutches_

Whyyyyy are you parked in the disabled spot?

It’s for the nice views, a*****e.

Image credits: pedanticpterodactyl

#15

Person: “I can’t move to England, I don’t even know what language they speak!”

Me: “English… England… English…”

Person: “Are you sure?”.

Image credits: Bodidiva

#16

“What are eggs made of?”. Not like chemical make up, but if they had flour in them. Cause of the whites. If they had butter in them. Cause of the yolk. This kid (23 y/o) was a box of bricks.

Image credits: stopstealingmyname

#17

My mom asked me if Florida is in California. We’re Canadian and she’s been to both states.

Image credits: room32a

#18

Classmate: What race are you?

Me: Ethnically I’m Polish and Chinese.

Classmate: I knew you were mixed! But are you sure you’re not Korean?

Me: Congrats, and yes, I’m sure.

Classmate: Nah man, you’re kidding me. You’re definitely Korean, I have friends that are Korean.

Me: I’m Chinese.

Classmate: Can you speak Korean?

Me: …Good bye.

#19

A: where can in find a security guard?

Me: Security is located in the pavilion over there. They can be reached 24 hours a day.

A: What if I need them at night?

Image credits: GuardPerson

#20

When someone asked me where I’m from and I said “Venezuela” their response was “what part of Africa that in?”.

Image credits: Yoliwankenobi12

#21

My friend and I went to a gas station while out cruising around and she bought some munchies. She put a five on the counter and the cashier stared down at it like she’d never seen such a thing exist, and asked, without moving…

“Is that a 5?”

To this day I have no idea why she was so flummoxed by a five dollar bill sitting next to her cash register.

Image credits: labbykun

#22

Everyday. Every single day at work.

Answer work phone “Dave speaking” “Hi can i speak to Dave please?”.

Image credits: Sketch_x

#23

“Is okay to swim with a dead dog in the pool?”

-Phone call I took while working at a pool store.

And no. No, it is not okay to swimming with a dead dog in the pool.

Image credits: Kabufu

#24

I was born on an AirForce base. I remember in school one day we were doing one of those about you things that the teachers always assign on the first day and I put the base I was born on in the spot that asks where you’re born. We then share it to the class (6th grade) and some kid dead serious asked me “so if you were born on an AirForce base were you born on the runway or something?”

*The base had a hospital and my dad was active duty when I was born that’s why I was born there*.

Image credits: M1XRR

#25

I have two roommates. We split the cost of household supplies (toilet paper, paper towels, garbage bags, etc) I recently went to target and bought these things. divided the cost by 3 and told everyone what I was doing. One of them asked if this meant she “gets money back” because she had just venmo’d me January’s rent. this is just one of many insanely stupid questions she has asked.

Image credits: blackaubreyplaza

#26

“What did people in apartments do before stairs were invented?”

“Is kingdom come a place in China?”

Same person.

Image credits: Firethorn101

#27

“Where do you find the calorie info on shampoo? I can’t find it.”.

Image credits: Drowsiest_Approval

#28

I am a woman with a twin brother. I can’t tell you how many people have asked me if we are identical twins…

#29

This is not a joke. I was in class for the first day of 9th grade and the home room teacher introduced herself: “My name is Ms.IDontRememberHerName and I’ll be your home room teacher for the 9th grade. She then asks the students to introduce themselves, and when the first person introduced himself the teacher genuinely said: “Nice to meet you. What grade are you in?”.

Image credits: LamboLegend

#30

I got a call from someone trying to use a web application I wrote. This application had been live for a year without problems, not it wasn’t accepting this person’s email address. After talking through what they were entering, including making sure they were putting “@aol.com” in their AOL email address, I started to crack open the code thinking that there was some weird edge case that they had triggered. That’s when they asked: “Do I need to put my email address in the field that says ’email address’?”

Yes, they were putting their email address in a different field and wondering why it wasn’t working.

#31

We have twins. So many people asked us if we were trying for twins.

#32

I went to a high school that was majority white, and one day in class a girl asked me.. “So.. do black people.. like.. have black blood?”
I didn’t even have the energy to respond to the stupidity.

#33

“Wow, your English is really good. Do you speak Canadian?”.

Image credits: MeddlingKids1126

#34

Most of my stupid questions come from my dog grooming customers.

The most recent was: “Do you use different scissors that cut the hair to different lengths?”

Yes, because that’s what your hairdresser does, right?

I also love getting variations on the question of “what would happen if the dog was ‘living in the wild’ and couldn’t be brushed?” It’s always asked by people who don’t brush their dog, causing it to be a jacked matted mess which I have to shave. Listen, Karen – when was the last time you saw a wild goldendoodle?

#35

“What’s the difference?”

In response to me asking, “Would you like sea salt or oregano?”

I thought he was joking and responded, “Well, one’s sea salt and the other is oregano.” He got really mad and started going off “Well I could’ve told you that!” Luckily his friends weren’t douche bags and shut him up by telling him he was being stupid and it wasn’t a difficult question, he was just being a d**k while I was doing my job.

#36

I’m colorblind and was telling a girl in my gym class about this.

Me: “Yeah, I’ve been told that I’m red-green color blind, according to my eye doctor.”

Girl: “So, are the other colors the same for you as they are for me?”

Me: “I wouldn’t know, I’ve never seen what they look like for you.”

Image credits: PepperPiper69

#37

I used to work in retail when I was 16.

I was cashiering when a woman came up and gave me a coupon for 20% off the total purchase. When I told her the total she seemed displeased and asked me, “did it take 20% each item or the entire total?” And I had to desperately explain to her that it’s the exact same thing.

Image credits: anon

#38

I was at the main desk of the library I worked in at the time. I picked up the phone and the caller asked, with no preamble or context, “Is this the library down the street?”.

#39

My girlfriends mom asked me if verbally Abusing my girlfriend is okay “if it’s from her parent”.

Image credits: cumberber

#40

“Are lizards animals?” This was a highschool senior. They weren’t joking.

#41

Having dinner in the dining hall at University.
A friend asks me ‘How big is a star? Could one fit in this room?’

I quietly let her know that one would probably not fit in the room…

#42

In a panic after doing something dumb, my friend asks “what’s the number for 911!?”.

Image credits: C00KIEM0N57R

#43

A guy I used to work with asked me whether French and Italian were the same language. I appreciate that he was making an attempt to learn, at least.

#44

As this moron pointed at Chinese writing on his shoes, he said: “hey, you speak Oriental, right? Can you translate this thing on my sneakers?”.

#45

“You’ve got arched eyebrows, are you evil?”.

#46

Can you feel her pain/read her mind? (I’m an identical twin)

I used to get asked that question quite often when I was younger and there often lead up questions that made it obvious what they were going to ask next. So on a few occasions I would say “no, I cannot read her mind” before the question was asked. The looks on their faces were pretty amusing.

#47

“If you look up Google on google does it bring you to Google google?” This person was dead serious and that was the day I lost faith in humanity.

Image credits: Virologiccomet

#48

Lost in a new city, I stopped to ask directions.

“I’m trying to locate the on-ramp to the westbound interstate, ” I asked.

The guy asked me, “Where are you starting from?”.

#49

Had a friend ask why it was taking longer than the posted time to our destination while driving. Dude legit thought the distance markers to places signified “minutes”.

#50

“Wait, moose are real? I thought they were mythological!”.

#51

Me: Writing with my left hand.
Person: “aRe YoU LEfT haNdEd?”.

#52

“Why weren’t you at roll call earlier?” I was sitting right next to this person at roll call. He even told me how he differentiates me from another guy who has a very similar name.

#53

“Did it hurt making your hair blue?” For real. I swear.

Edit to add: nah dudes, this guy was dead on serious, drunk as f**k and truly believed I tattooed my hair blue…

#54

Do you speak Jewish.

Image credits: Fally11204

#55

*Me applying for a job*
Boss: why do you want this job?
Me an intelectual: I am hungry.

Image credits: Beral7

#56

How much is your dollar burger. That was difficult not to openly laugh right in their face.

#57

YOu’rE a bOy aNd yOuR nAmE iS rEnE?! Believe it or not, I have had more experiences teachers saying this than anybody else.

#58

Worked at a living history museum and we always had a smoky fire burning to help create ~atmosphere~

One lady asked me, “Is that a real fire?” After years of working with the public, it took all I had not to reply, “Touch it and see.”.

#59

Do you sell flowers?

I worked at a flower shop when I took that phone call.

#60

I had ombre hair a few years ago, so it was half blonde, half brown. A guy asked me if that was my natural hair. I thought he was joking but he was dead serious.

#61

I was holding an American passport and somebody asked if I was Canadian, makes sense.

#62

– Do you know how to do that or have you learned it?

A curious neighbor asking my friend who was replacing the reed on an old thatched roof. It’s one of my favorite questions, but I unfortunately don’t know what the answer was.

#63

Not me but an exchange student that lived with my family from Spain. What color is the sky in Spain?

#64

I was at school and someone said are you at school.

#65

“What time does midnight Mass start?”.

#66

Uber driver: Wow, you’ve got quite oriental features now don’t you?
Me:…yup.

#67

My Dad is a pretty logical person and usually picks up on any inconsistencies in movies etc. This one time was pretty funny though, to turn it back on him:

*phone rings*

Me, answers : “Hello”

Dad: “Oh hi ! it’s me, are you at home?

Me: “Well… this is the HOME phone, so… yes ?”.

#68

*explaining to new classmates about how I had a stroke on birth which left me with mobility issues mostly on my legs*

Slow classmate: wait, you can have a stroke on your legs???

#69

I’m a recruiter and I sent one of my candidates a form to fill out as part of the hiring process. He emails me back and says “There’s a line that says ‘Sign and Print Name.’ Do I need to both sign and print my name on that line?” I had to give myself a 15 minute cool off period before I responded to the email so I wouldn’t hurt his feelings.

#70

Are you asleep – question asked by my mother as she busted into my room, only to be faced with me, the creature who has just been disturbed from her nap. Her reasoning as to why? She had just made chicken wings and wanted to know if I wanted any.