Social norms are the unwritten rules that determine what is acceptable within a community and what is not.
Usually, they are those things we all just “know” to be true, and that are either rewarded or punished by members of that community.
From the way we form a line at a grocery store to the way we look for a partner, they govern both the small details of daily interactions and the major decisions that shape our lives.
But not everyone accepts these customs without question. In fact, some people feel certain conventions are baffling or even absurd. Recently, a post on r/AskReddit invited platform users to share a common social norm that they secretly find ridiculous, and the responses sparked an interesting discussion. Continue scrolling to check out the most popular entries.
#1
Posting your entire life online.
MizzyvonMuffling replied:
…plus airing dirty laundry/family feuds online.
Image credits: Queenofswords_love
#2
Having to be available 24/7.
I miss the days before mobile phones. I might use the social side of my mobile twice a day, and I get constant complains about it. I won’t change. I don’t need to.
Image credits: Formal-Eye5548
#3
Crossing my arms means I’m closed off.
Actually I’m just really comfortable standing that way. I do it all the time.
Moominsean replied:
I agree. Just standing there with your arms hanging feels kind of awkward and not particularly comfortable.
Image credits: It_is_me_Mike
#4
I’ve never really understood why it’s considered rude to put your elbows on the dinner table.
One_Lobster_7454 replied:
I’ll one up you: I’ve always been told off for having my knife and fork in the wrong hands!
What f*****g difference does It make? If I was left-handed, it would be the right way round! I find it comfortable that way around.
It’s got to a point where anyone mentioning it just gets the same phrase every time: ‘I don’t care.’
Image credits: TightLittleGyal
#5
Spending money to flex. Like why the f**k do I care if random people think I’m rich.
Nutzori replied:
‘Why would I buy a $1,500 phone when my current phone does all the same things at 1/10th the price?’ ‘Broke talk, LMAO.’ Bruh, no, I am specifically not broke because I have an extra $1,500 from not spending it on that dumb fucking phone, LOL.
Image credits: Dances28
#6
Insurance companies thinking they know better than doctors about our health needs. I want to see that system crumble and disappear before the end of my life. Probably won’t happen, but I still want it.
MissusNilesCrane replied:
Doctor: My patient needs prior authorization for X medication because generic isn’t effective.
Pharmacy: The doctor says his patient needs name-brand medication for his patient.
Insurance: Does she really, though? Better check with the doctor.
The story of my life.
Image credits: ThingsOfThatNaychah
#7
Job adverts posted without information on the salary. Are we really pretending as if the money isn’t a big factor as to why I’m applying?
Image credits: gummywormeater
#8
The idea that there are specific “breakfast foods” was just marketing made up by cereal companies to sell more cereal
I will die on this hill.
ebobbumman replied:
Aside from bacon and eggs, all our breakfast food is dessert: pancakes, waffles, muffins, donuts? It isn’t acceptable to eat cupcakes and ice cream for breakfast, but is a muffin or a waffle covered in whipped cream just fine? It’s bizarre.
Image credits: badgersprite
#9
Two weeks notice to quit a job. They can let you go without even a seconds warning but if you leave without giving a two week notice you’re the bad guy and filed under “not rehireable”.
The entire idea behind the two week notice is so they could train your replacement but these days they often don’t really have anyone lined up for that. Then they ask you to stay on another week. Not your problem though.
Your employer is only as loyal to you as their bottom line allows. You’re just a number on a spreadsheet. Once you’re no longer useful, you’re out. So there’s no point to being loyal to your employer.
Image credits: masturbator6942069
#10
Over the top weddings. What an incredible waste of money.
merc0526 replied:
It seems absolutely wild to me that people who may not have enough for a house deposit are okay with spending lots of money on a wedding. Hell, even if I owned a house, I’d rather spend the wedding money on traveling around the world.
Image credits: Pithecanthropus88
#11
Not just letting kids be weird. My son used to wear the weirdest stuff and if we were going out I’d be like ‘Go for it! You’re six, live it up!” I do believe in making them behave, though.
Image credits: PlaysTheTriangle
#12
Obsessing over celebrities or anyone in the media while neglecting your own present life and social circle.
Gino-Bartali replied:
Important to note that professional athletes are, without question, celebrities.
I follow the NBA to a minor extent, but I’m not tuned into it all hours of the day, nor do I let it make me start gambling because, apparently, we decided to regress a bit as a collective.
People who know every trade and every life story of every player are also sometimes likely to talk down on Swifties like they are any different.
Image credits: THom_took_Jonnys_H
#13
Having to buy a card for every occasion – like, why do I need to pay $5 to say “Happy Birthday” when I’m already getting you a gift?
Image credits: Loud-Ad4097
#14
Pretending to like small talk when all you really want is to skip to the part where you can comfortably ignore each other.
Image credits: Wonderful-Neat-5341
#15
Hair dressers required to always small talk with the clients even tho how weird some may be, i do feel for them and give them credit for the job they do doing it every hair cut.
Image credits: Liberty_Minded_Mick
#16
Having to say bye to every person when leaving an event.
Image credits: humming-bird5
#17
I secretly find ridiculous is the expectation to always respond with “I’m fine” or “I’m good” when someone asks how you’re doing, even when you’re clearly not. It’s as if we’re all part of an unspoken agreement to avoid genuine emotional exchanges in casual interactions, reducing a potentially meaningful conversation to mere pleasantries. It feels like a missed opportunity to connect on a deeper level, yet it’s so ingrained that we all just go along with it.
Image credits: Armin Rimoldi
#18
Being in a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have a partner, but the amount of comments and single-shaming and false pity is so annoying.
I don’t need sympathy, I don’t need your unrequested help/ coupling in finding a partner, I don’t need unwarranted suggestions of what I need to change…
I am neither desperate, so please Mr. X stop hitting on me, a no is a no…
and nor do I need other women to think I am posing a threat to their relationship, so Miss Y, I don’t want your man, stop hating on me?.
Image credits: broken_banana_spirit
#19
Tipping. Thank God I live in Europe.
Image credits: King_in_a_castle_84
#20
Everyone walking around with phones in faces even at a gym where they need to have thing in hands to work out.
Image credits: anon
#21
Gender reveals. What a grandiose waste of money, time and resources.
Seaworthiness14 replied:
And really, most people don’t care about the sex of somebody’s baby; they just want it to be healthy.
Image credits: Sea-Gene-901
#22
I don’t think it’s so much a thing anymore but back in the 200s-2010s people put so much stock in the whole “never show up on time fir a party/social event on time” thing. It was so stupid and inconvenient and there was no reason for it.
Image credits: LionofZion1997
#23
You’re expected to accept someone’s request on social media to be polite, and you’re expected to stay social media “friends” with them even if you’re not friends in real life.
I always get c**p about not wanting acquaintances and colleagues on social media….like I’ve hurt their feelings. Sometimes it’s nothing personal.
Image credits: Kind-Ad-3479
#24
Paying thousands for destination bachelorette/bachelor parties.
Image credits: Accomplished-Day-105
#25
Having kids when you can’t even afford rent.
Image credits: morningsunzzz
#26
Humoring rude or pushy people.
If a stranger asks me weird questions or tries persistently to make small talk, I’m forced to make at least a couple of polite, inconspicuous attempts to extricate myself without calling them out, just to save THEIR face.
Dude, I nodded, smiled blandly, and turned away *twice*. I put earphones in. Why are you still trying to make eye contact and force me to take them out again by talking at me? Elderly people are very good at this. Sometimes better than pushy men.
I want permission to directly tell someone, “I don’t want to talk” straight away, without being labeled rude and b****y.
#27
Health insurance. You pay plenty for it. Yet you also pay a ridiculous amount if you have any sort of major health problem. What’s the point? The whole system is completely broken.
#28
Scheduling workplace events outside of normal working hours. If you want me to attend, pay me for it.
Image credits: DeathSpiral321
#29
Being nice to a person but secretly gossiping or judging behind their back, why not to tell them the truth in the face?
Image credits: Mother_Ad5653
#30
Bras and panties are taboo but swimwear isn’t. Literally the same s**t just water resistant material.
Image credits: RefrigeratorOk5465
#31
Wearing brand name clothing. As long as you have nice clean clothes on I don’t care what brand they are.
#32
That you should slave your life away to rich a******s that don’t care about you, and that if you don’t, you’re “lazy.”.
#33
The idea that men who take good care of their appearance must be gay.
#34
Dropping 3 month salary on a shiny rock that is just an agreement to another even larger payment in the form of a ceremony.
Start your union by working through a pile of debt.
#35
Parents giving their kids expensive vehicles.
You see a high school douchebag driving a lifted 250 with chrome wheels. Hauling literally nothing but clearly worth the $100,000.
Is it any wonder why the economy’s in shambles, repossessions are up, and entitlement is through the roof?
Just get them a basic 10+ year old Camry or Civic.
#36
“What’s your dream job?”
I think it’s weird to dream about work.
#37
That men aren’t allowed any emotion other than anger.
#38
In the U.S.?
We have a f*****g healthcare system where an inordinate amount of money goes to healthcare premiums.
Health is important. Yes! So, those premiums covering healthcare are acceptable….
…in an ideal world.
INSTEAD, people spend all those premiums IN HOPE that they never f*****g have to go to a doctor!!
#39
Having to hide a tampon or a pad when I go to the bathroom to change it because someone might find it embarrassing.
#40
Eating a food that you’ve previously expressed a dislike for to be courteous.
Like, if I say I like shepherds pie, someone makes it for me, and it tastes bad… I’m going to fake it to be polite. But if I tell people I dislike peanut butter and they make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for me, I’m not eating it. I won’t be rude about it, I’ll politely remind them and thank them for the effort! But yeah, no.
#41
Doctors and really all providers who schedule an appointment and are expected to be late while you are expected to be early and penalized for being late. Doctors, meetings, interviews, service appointments… and copays before I receive a service of any kind.
#42
Funerals. Horrible use of resources and environmentally harmful. Also, it puts the grieving through so much unnecessary nonsense. My late husband had some serious forethought and refused to allow us to have a funeral. At first I was taken aback but in the end, it was so much easier on me and my kids. He wanted to be cremated and we spread his ashes in a small ceremony with close family when I was ready to let him go.
#43
Saying “bless you” when someone sneezes. We don’t say it when someone coughs or anything else. Most of the time a sneeze is just random anyway, not due to sickness.
#44
Bachelor and bachelorette parties where the point is to live it up one more night as an unmarried person, last chance to enjoy all the vices. Wtf?
#45
Retail and fast food/dining workers being required to have forced small talk with strangers who are also fully aware that the small talk is forced as a part of the job.
#46
Feeling obligated to bring a gift to a wedding when you’re already spending a fortune just to be there.
#47
Hugs to greet people. Don’t f*****g touch me.
#48
That the rich can be immune to the consequences of their actions.
#49
Hustle culture in general is so f*****g annoying too. We are not defined by how much of our lives we spend grinding away, how hard we hustle nor by our income brackets.
#50
Not having bra straps show, who cares.
#51
Small talk before getting to the point in a business meeting. We are all experiencing the weather and probably agree, I don’t want to talk about my family or trips, etc. I just want to cover the topic and get back to what I was doing before I walked into the office.
#52
Not taking people at face value. If only everyone would just take responsibility for their words and actions and expect the same form others.
Let’s stop trying to find secret meaning, especially to people who are pretty straightforward. So much drama would be avoided.
#53
Bridezillas and special “requests” for weddings. No one should be expected to give you thousands of dollars Susan just because you’re getting married.
Expensive vehicles- I’ll stick with my paid off Toyota- I hate car payments.
Everything being fake- fake fingernails, fake eyebrows, fake lashes, fake boobs, etcetera. I’m all for self care- but all the fake… why?
#54
Not wearing a hat in the house or any of the other super subjective things that older people view as being “polite”. Someone else said elbows on the table. Same thing. Useless gestures that have zero meaning other than what people say they do. I get being respectful of culture and I would conform to any norms in a house or society of which I am a guest. But in my house, I want people laughing and comfortable. I want my loved ones to be at home with me and in my space.
#55
Playing “hard to get” otherwise if you show interest that’s apparently desperate??
#56
Daylight Saving Time.
#57
Asking people when they’re “finally going to have kids”.
#58
Excessive consumption of alcohol.