Attending a friend’s wedding is arguably even more fun than having your own. You’re not in charge of organizing the entire day, and you didn’t have to pay for it. But you still get to enjoy the music and food, celebrate a beautiful love story and dance the night away with your friends.
Tension can arise, however, if you’re expected to help out with the wedding more than you’d like to. That’s why one woman had to put her foot down and refuse to contribute financially to a friend’s wedding. But after reaching out to the internet for advice, readers gave her some much needed perspective. Below, you’ll find the full story that was posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies readers left the woman.
Mixing finances with friends is often a dangerous game
Image credits: ckstockphoto/Envato (not the actual photo)
When this woman told a friend that she couldn’t afford to contribute to her wedding, she was reminded of who helped pay for her own celebration
Image credits: Pressmaster/Envato (not the actual photo)
Later, the woman provided updates and clarified some of the details about her situation
Image credits: WatchRainFeelFire
The average wedding guest will spend about $580 attending a loved one’s big day
We all know that having a wedding is a huge financial burden. It doesn’t have to be, of course, if you and your partner are happy to get hitched at the courthouse and throw a small party at home. But for many couples, their wedding is an opportunity to host a big bash, and that can come with a huge bill. According to Forbes, the average cost of a wedding in the United States in 2024 is a whopping $33,000.
The priciest items and services that couples have to pay for are usually the reception venue, the band or DJ, photographer and/or videographer, the florist and other decorations and the wedding dress, as these can all easily cost thousands. Plus, most couples spend about $6,000 on an engagement ring. And then there’s still catering, the cake, invitations, hair and makeup, transportation, wedding favors and more to budget for.
But the bride and the groom aren’t the only ones who end up spending a lot on their big day. The reality is that even just attending a wedding can cost a pretty penny nowadays. The Knot reports that the average wedding guest cost in 2024 is $580. The grand total depends on various factors, but guests often have to pay for travel, accommodation, attire and wedding gifts, which can easily rack up a big bill.
Over a fifth of wedding guests admit that they feel pressure to spend more than they’re comfortable with
Experts at Vogue recommend spending between $50 to $75 on a wedding gift for a coworker or distant relative. But if you’re attending a friend or family member’s wedding, you might want to buy them something that costs between $75 and $100. And if the wedding you’re attending is your best friend’s, a close relative’s or you’re in the wedding party, you should be prepared to spend at least $100 to $150 on the gift.
But in this economy, where over three quarters of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, having to find hundreds of dollars laying around to attend a wedding can be impossible. Not to mention the fact that you might be invited to four weddings in one year, bringing the grand total of attending them all to over $2,300. Unfortunately, it’s common for wedding guests to feel like they have to spend beyond their means to celebrate a loved one’s big day.
Bankrate reports that over a third of wedding guests will have to be more conservative with their spending to be able to attend these celebrations. 21% also admit that they expect to feel pressured to spend more than they’re comfortable with and that these weddings will place a strain on their budgets. 18% even say they might have to take on credit card debt to see a loved one tie the knot.
It’s important to be honest if attending a friend’s wedding won’t fit into your budget
So what do we do when we simply can’t afford to be there for a friend’s big day? Financial expert Peter Dunn recommends being honest with your loved one, even though it may be awkward. Talk to them one on one and figure out what you’re getting yourself into if you do decide to attend or join in the wedding party. Perhaps you can afford to go to the wedding but not to be a bridesmaid, attend the bachelorette party, etc.
If the wedding is a destination event, the bride and groom should be understanding that not everyone has the time and financial ability to travel. But they might be able to help you out with the costs, if you explain that you won’t be able to attend otherwise.
Or, if you can find a way to make it to the wedding, Dunn recommends simply skimping on the gift. It may not sound like great etiquette, but if you can barely afford to make it to the celebration, an extra hundred dollars can make or break your budget for the month. Your presence really should be a present to your loved ones if it’s important for them that you attend.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, pandas. Do you think it’s fair for this woman to refuse to contribute to her friend’s wedding? Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda piece discussing wedding drama, look no further than right here!
Many readers called out the woman for backing out of her promise to help with her friend’s wedding
However, some thought that the situation could have been handled more maturely by all parties
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