Splitting the bill on a night out has become quite a topic of debate these days.
And since everyone has an opinion about it—ranging from either of the two extremes with who gets to cover 100% of the check, and everything in-between—there is pretty much an equivalent amount of hills to die on. Or sled from. Opinions can change!
This story is no different. A woman was out with her boyfriend and some friends, having dinner when the question of who’s paying comes up. And then drama ensued.
The topic of who’s paying has become a point of debate in recent times—debates that can get heated to an extreme degree
Image credits: RossHelen / envato (not the actual photo)
A couple was recently in a row over covering the dinner bill for a party of 8, and the guy just had to send a message with it
Image credits: bilyanas1 / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freedinner
All it felt to the woman was that her boyfriend just wanted to save face, but she didn’t let him do it
The story goes that this one Redditor, a 24-year-old woman, was out with her boyfriend of 8 months on a dinner date with 6 other friends.
Once dinner was done, the 2 other guys in the party said they’re gonna cover the bill. OP wanted to chip in, but the boyfriend (the only other guy) said he’d like to do it for her, but he would want her to also pay him afterwards when nobody’s watching.
While intentions were not clear as to why he prompted for such a clunky approach, OP suspected that he just wanted to save face, being the gentleman that he is, in front of the other guys.
Well, she didn’t give him an opportunity to do it and just paid for the darned thing, with nobody batting an eye, except for the boyfriend, who was now sulking. He was upset for being emasculated by the girlfriend, making him look bad in front of the boys.
Folks online definitely had some things to say—things of any variety, arguing the situations on all sides
Commenters had a hunch that the guy didn’t even have the money, so he was trying to save face double-time in front of the guys and OP. Which was super weird.
Others criticized his take credit for OP paying approach, elaborating on the idea of him being a gentleman, but only appearing to be one, when in reality there is insecurity, misogyny, and now anger underneath all that gentleness.
But, on the other hand, there were those who played the devil’s advocate. Her boyfriend was expected to pay as per a social norm within this particular group of friends that OP broke and created even more pressure for the boyfriend, who was seemingly new in the clique.
Others also bagged on her for inviting him to a fancy restaurant, knowing clearly that he can’t really afford it—it felt like sabotage from the beginning. This is besides some pointing out that she did not consider how the boyfriend feels at all before acting. And that’s just not something you do with a significant other.
So, what’s the deal with paying the bill? Who should pay for it?
The truth lies in the stars, and by that we mean it’s all over the place.
A 2019 survey done by dating website Elite Singles polled around 300,000 singles to learn that 63% of men believed that they should be the ones paying on a first date, with 46% of women having the same opinion.
Another survey considered the times after the first date, where 74% of men and 83% of women claimed they share their expenses after 6 months in a relationship, but 84% of men and 58% of women reported that men still end up paying for more.
The bottom line, though, is that it all boils down to being open with your communication. Whether you decide to split the bill, or base your decisions on gender norms or your income, it only takes a few moments to get this out of the way through a civil conversation so that you wouldn’t be surprised with the bill later on.
So, what are your thoughts on any of this? How would you split a bill? Or how would you approach the conundrum between OP and her boyfriend? Let us know in the comment section below!