No matter how much you and your partner love each other, at some point, you might struggle. Maybe you’re so overwhelmed with your responsibilities that you barely find quality time for each other. Maybe the passion between the two of you has faded a bit. Maybe you feel like you’re drifting apart.
It’s certainly possible to move past this and make your relationship stronger. Unfortunately, not everyone’s successful. What works for some people only makes the situation worse for others. User u/Thedhmy sparked an honest discussion on r/AskReddit after asking everyone to share what they did to reignite their relationships, only to ruin things instead. We’ve collected their powerful stories to share with you, so be sure to read on.

Read More: 30 People Share How They Tried To Reignite Their Relationship But Ruined It Instead

#1

My ex moved out to give us space to figure things out. A few weeks later our 11 year old son commented that the house was so much more peaceful without mom around. A couple weeks later ex was let out of her lease because of maintenance issues and the thought of inviting her back home made my stomach instantly hurt. Now a divorced and healing single dad.

Image credits: Lost_soul1981

#2

I had a falling out with a close friend. It was mostly because of this girl he started dating that I genuinely thought was a terrible human being and only there to take advantage of his stable income, being quite incapable herself. I figured it was bad enough for him to deserve a conversation and it didn’t go well.

We went a few years without speaking to each other, and one day I see a post online that suggests he’s getting married soon. I notice it’s not the terrible human girl, and reach out to him to congratulate him. He’s happy I did, we talk like it hasn’t been 5 years, I’m excited for him, and we’re making plans.

He shares pictures of the engagement and what not, and I exclaim “thank god it’s not her, I really thought you’d marry her!”. Turns out it is her, she’s just gained weight and changed her hair.

“It is her” is the last thing he said and I was blocked shortly after.

Image credits: 0x962

#3

We moved closer to her family. The only thing that changed was that I gave up my dream job. She was still just as miserable, but now I was also miserable.

Image credits: scott__p

#4

I took a solo trip across the county for 6 weeks to reevaluate my life/relationship by taking a step away from it. realized how amazing my partner was and how lucky I had it. Came back and was broken up with :/.

Image credits: catsareprettygood

#5

Tried a new church.

He was advised by his boss that it would be better for our relationship to be closer to God. The sermon was themed “Better Together”. It got me thinking that I really didn’t think him and I were better together. On the drive home, I initiated a conversation about some boundaries and things I wanted to change, otherwise it just wasn’t going to work anymore. The sermon apparently had the opposite effect on him, and he felt that God was telling him we should stay together but keep everything exactly the same.

We broke up before we even got home and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Image credits: ImaJillSammich

#6

We both wrote about 3 things we wanted to change and to bring our relationship back to life. Hers were things about me that I hadn’t done in over a year – when questioned, she got really defensive and insisted I still do it and then talked about a situation (that happened a year prior) to prove her point.

My main one was asking for one date night a month. When I told her mine, I basically had to fight tooth and nail to just get her to consider it. We never had any dates, rarely ever saw each other, and I was asking for 2 hours of her time once a month.

After that conversation, I really had to reflect on whether this is what I wanted or not. I was kind of glad when we broke up a couple of weeks later.

Image credits: 030117

#7

After a mutual decision that our family was complete, I had a vasectomy at her insistence after being told it was the only way anything would be happening in the bedroom. A year later, she left to have another child with someone else. Because the vasectomy reversal which she demanded I should have was unsuccessful.

Image credits: Prestigious-Wall5616

#8

Took a fancy tropical vacation. First class, all inclusive, even extended it a few days. Still couldn’t stop fighting. Spent most of it alone. I learned a lesson there.

Image credits: OperationSlutPhase

#9

I had been telling her that it made me uncomfortable she was still texting her exs when I had to dump my good friend whom I dated back in middle school. She blew up and broke up with me two days later.

Image credits: axelthineaxe

#10

This is what my partner did, but I am sure he wanted it to revive us: he proposed. It ended the relationship within a month, not because he proposed, but because he did it during an absolute crisis in our relationship, on a ski vacation where he barely said 2 words to me for 4 days until the proposal: he also had no ring and said if I said yes, then we would go shopping for one. I felt so awful, but my gut reaction was so strongly negative that I just felt like I couldn’t possibly say yes and that our relationship was definitely over. It would have been so much better to have had a really deep, open conversation about what was going on with us.

Image credits: platitudinarian

#11

We got a girlfriend. He convinced me we were in it together, but I was an obvious third wheel and we’ve since broken up. They’re still together though.

Image credits: Jollyyyyyyyyyy

#12

Therapy and medication for her depression. Fixed her depression, but not our relationship. She finally figured out what she enjoyed doing, and it wasn’t for me.

Image credits: ResolutionNumber9

#13

We went on a swinger’s cruise.

Image credits: KiriDomo

#14

I got a job at the same office as her. She asked me to apply and I wanted to be able to see her every day. When we had our blow out fight she said that She started to resent me because I didn’t have to work as hard as her to do well. I started to resent her because she never wanted to hang out anymore. I left the job after 4 months. Didn’t talk to her again for 7 months. We hooked up one last time and that was that.

Image credits: scorpiozip

#15

We opened it up because she was counting on me for the heavy majority of her emotional support and I thought it would be good for her to meet new people. She went on a date with her *therapist*. It unraveled from there.

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