“Kids Are Not Bargaining Chips”: Person Gives Parents An Ultimatum To Meet Their Grandkids

Money can ruin family relationships, especially when a large sum is involved. Sometimes, the rift between close kin can transcend generations, resulting in potentially irreparable damage. 

That is the exact premise of this story. Reddit user Round_Back5083 cut ties with their parents after the father squandered the monetary inheritance they intended to use to settle student loans and other debts. 

The author isn’t willing to make amends with their entire family until they receive the amount owed. But because of the drama that ensued and the disrupted dynamics, they asked the AITAH subreddit if their actions were too harsh. 

Unresolved inheritance disputes can cause significant damage to the family dynamic

Image credits: Chayene Rafaela / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

The author of this story cut ties with their family because of a squandered inheritance

Image credits: Engin Akyurt / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Both sides aren’t backing down, but it made the author question their decision

Image credits: Round_Back5083

Improper planning is a usual cause of family drama when it comes to inheritance

The author’s story suggests that the inheritance was mishandled. However, the problem appears to lie more with the father, who may have incorrectly allocated the money. 

In any case, his indecision caused a rift within the family, and he may never get to meet his grandkids. According to wills lawyer Les Kotzer, the lack of proper handling of inheritances is one of the common causes of rifts between family members. 

“Some parents keep their heads in the sand,” Kotzer told Ontario-based publication The Waterloo Region Record, adding that people “set the seeds of destruction” of their children by not properly doling out inheritances, whether money or other assets. 

Vague wording on the will may also cause a stir, something Kotzer calls a “ticking time bomb.” He gave an example of a woman who left “antiques” to her daughter, which caused a dispute. 

“What qualifies as an antique? Does that include the woman’s Elvis Presley collection? One word can destroy a family,” Kotzer pointed out. 

The author claims to have gotten $27,000, which they estimate to be “about 10%” of what other relatives received. They believe their “father’s ego” may have robbed them of a more financially stable life. 

Discussing inheritance disputes is still one of the best ways to find resolution

Talking it out is still one of the top advice experts give in such scenarios. For licensed marriage and family therapist George James, communication is vital when dealing with inheritance disputes, especially since money can elicit strong emotions. 

“Don’t make it this thing that no one talks about,” James told CNBC, adding that it could be a significant recurring issue for a long time. 

Unequal distributions can sometimes occur because estate planning can be tricky. An article by Oregon State University advises heirs to consider essential factors like the deceased’s wishes and everyone’s responsibilities. 

Involving a neutral third party could be another good option.

“A mediator can help to come up with an agreement that’s to everybody’s satisfaction,” an excerpt from the article reads. 

The author claims to have consulted a lawyer but has had no success. They could try talking within the family and not letting money ruin their relationship, which would be unfortunate. 

What do you think, readers? Was it too harsh of a decision to cut ties with the entire family because of a lost inheritance? 

The author provided more details

A handful of people in the comments were in agreement

While others thought everyone involved was at fault

A few thought the author was in the wrong

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