If you don’t go to sleep before Santa gets here, you won’t get any Christmas presents. No, no, that’s not spinach in the soup. It’s basil! Oh, you want a sip of my milkshake? You won’t like it, it’s spicy.
There are plenty of ways parents bend the truth when talking to their kids every single day. And while honesty is definitely the best policy the majority of the time, a little white lie every now and then is harmless. Redditors have recently been sharing ethically questionable parenting hacks that moms and dads rely on, so we’ve gathered the most brilliant ones below. Enjoy scrolling through, and be sure to upvote the tips that you’ll be sure to utilize with your own children!
#1
Ensure your kids won’t bother you by telling them to wake you up in an hour so we can start cleaning the house – they will do anything to avoid waking you.
Image credits: BabesTina_69_
#2
If your toddler accidentally touches something hot you have to opportunity to tell him many things in the house are also hot and should be avoided.
Image credits: Yellowperil123
#3
My nephew refused to vacuum so I told him the thing about the vacuum sucking up ghosts. I said that vacuuming kept houses from getting haunted, that’s why haunted houses are so dusty. Ten years later he is still a neat freak and I feel responsible.
Image credits: Velociraptornuggets
#4
Told our daughter that the kids ears turn red when they lie, but only parents can see it.
She would enter rooms with her hands covering her ears, and we knew we were in for a lie lol.
Image credits: keyser-_-soze
#5
Tell your kid that they snore in their sleep really often, that way you’ll know if they’re pretending to sleep because they’ll fake snore.
Image credits: GentleTina_778
#6
Telling your kids that the car won’t start unless everyone’s seatbelt is buckled. It’s sneaky, but at least it’s for their safety!
Image credits: Big-Speaker-2538
#7
Friend at school’s parents told him he was allergic to alcohol, which they said they found out when he accidentally drank some as a toddler. They told him he was in intensive care and nearly died.
On his 18th birthday, they told him they made it up so he didn’t drink when underage.
Image credits: zpgnbg
#8
Saw this video on Instagram: When it’s past their bedtime, Dad changes the language on the TV to Spanish. When the kid’s act confused, he says it “must be because you’re tired”.
Image credits: MajorCompetitive612
#9
We do “toy rotation”! When they start getting bored of their toys that they have out, we pack them up and pull the other boxes out of their closet and unpack those. It’s like Christmas all over again. No new toys, they’re the same old toys, but they love it. We rotate them every month to 2 months.
Image credits: ano-ba-yan
#10
My kid went up 4 reading levels over Covid lockdown – everyone thought I was really putting in a big effort with his reading.
Truth is, I just turned on subtitles on the TV.
Image credits: yamsnz
#11
I pretended that certain foods such as the skin on steamed salmon and broccoli are incredibly delicious and would ask my kids if I could eat theirs. Other parents found it hilarious that my kids would be begging for slimy salmon skin and be delighted when I gave them cucumbers. .
Image credits: Lingonberry_Born
#12
If a kid is upset and crying, have them drink some water “it’ll make you feel better”. They can’t cry and drink at the same time, and generally calm down quicker so you can actually figure out what’s going on. (Or they realise whatever they bumped doesn’t actually hurt)
Works great in a class full of 4 year olds.
Image credits: swayy1141
#13
Not exactly unethical but one way my mom got child-me to stop crying was to rapidly cover and uncover my mouth (kinda like how people used to imitate native Americans back in the day). The resulting noise I made never failed to make me laugh hysterically and calmed me down instantly. Mom’s a real cheeky lady
Image credits: 4C35101013
#14
If they lie to me, their tongue will turn purple.
the hesitation when you ask them to show you their tongue if they’ve lied.
Hack ruined when 3 year old (youngest child) had them all sit in front of the mirror, tell lies, and check each other’s tongues.
Image credits: Keljameri
#15
My son hates tomatoes. It’s amazing how many foodstuffs now contain tomatoes as a major ingredient.
Image credits: JsyHST
#16
If you’re playing hide and seek with your toddler, you don’t have to start seeking straight away.
Take a moment. Have a cup of coffee.
Image credits: moratnz
#17
My niece believed that when the ice cream truck made music it was out of ice cream. She believed it so much she played that way with her American girl doll ice cream truck lol she figured it out around 9 years old.
Image credits: Greedy_Bandicoot493
#18
Tell them that the hospital has a 5 year return policy.
Image credits: venus_petite
#19
Did you miss not having model rockets as a kid?
Buy them for your kids.
Buy ALL the toys you wish you had when you were a kid (and enjoy them with or without your kids).
Image credits: randymcatee
#20
I dunno if it’s truly unethical, but don’t react when your kid falls over. The first thing your kid will do once they have fallen is look to you, and if you panic, they’ll panic and start crying.
Image credits: Cumulus-Crafts
#21
My parents used to tell me that the tooth fairy comes every night to check for teeth. If you loose one she takes it and leaves you money but if you didn’t loose one she would check if you brushed your teeth, if you didn’t she would pull them out.
Kinda dark of my parents but I always made sure to brush my teeth.
#22
If you want your toddler to do something they don’t really wanna do then ask them a question where all possible answers involve them doing the thing.
For example, when my kid was in the bath, they never wanted to get out when bath time was over. So I just asked ‘do you want to climb out yourself, or do you want me to lift you out?
Worked every time.
#23
I tell my kids that the internet “closes” at 8PM and it’s not back on until 8AM the next day so they dont try and go crazy with the screen time. Really, I just shut off the router.
As a bonus, it’s better for me and my husband too because we have no choice but to put down the screens and talk to each other or listen to records together until its time for us to go to sleep. It’s actually quite nice. Highly recommend.
#24
Our youngest son co-slept with his mother and I until he was 5… easily the dumbest thing we ever did. Trying to ween him off of that put his life and our sanity in danger. Hours a night were spent trying to get that little devil to fall asleep. My wife introduced him to “The Sleep Fairy”. A lot like the Tooth Fairy, only SF helps little boys and girls sleep in their own bed. She found a small wooden treasure box, helped him paint/decorate it, and told him every night he sleeps in his own bed, the SF will give him a gift. SF left little Lego people, small candies, and other small toys and treats for a month. It got to where he looked forward to sleeping in his own bed. After a month, the SF wrote a heartfelt message to the boy, letting him know how proud of him they were and it was time for her to go and help other little boys and girls sleep in their beds. Son is now 14 and he still has the SF treasure box in his room that he never f*****g leaves.
#25
My daughter was a biter. I needed to show her how much biting hurt, so one day, I bit her arm. Hard.
She never bit anyone after that.
#26
I don’t have kids, but the best hack I’ve heard is to play the New Years Eve countdown from a country in a different time zone. Doesn’t matter if it’s a different language – kids down care. They get fireworks, m a countdown, and get to stay up late – but are actually in bed by 9pm ahaha
#27
I told my kids it’s illegal to cuss, drink, smoke, or kiss until you’re 18. It worked until my oldest was in middle school, when she heard a kid cussing at school and tried to get a teacher to call the cops.
#28
I got one. I foster “difficult” teen boys. Obviously their home life wasn’t great and they imitate some b******t behavior. When I set boundaries they don’t like a lot of kids want to physically fight me because that’s the way they’ve learned to solve problems
OK so here’s the unethical part. If they want it I am the one. We glove up and go to the back yard. I block and dodge until they’re gassed, they cry out of frustration and we hug it out.
I’ve gone to work with a shiner more than once. But the kids learn that no matter how bad you are there’s always someone badder, tough guy s**t don’t make your problems go away, and a physical contest makes you feel better
My kids have been thrown out of school, Foster homes, alternative learning schools, every program they’ve ever been in. Having an outlet for that energy and anger helps but it’s not exactly ethical to tell a kid if they want it they can come get it .
#29
Teaching your 6yo daughter how to throw a proper punch then sparring with her for a bit reduced her class room bully who terrorized everyone to a much better behaved young man….. at least around her. .
#30
When one of my nieces is begging for something in the store and is throwing a fit ill say “do you want a picture of you holding it so Santa knows you want it?” Calms them right down. Kids are stupid. Now please excuse me while I go wishlist these steam games I can’t afford.
#31
I save all my “tax office” envelopes (they are a distinct colour in the Netherlands) and every time I hear my child swear… he randomly gets a letter fining him x amount from the tax office.
He then hands the money over and I pop it back in his piggy bank when he’s not looking ?
It works!
#32
My mom would literally change the clock to show our bedtime. And then she’d be like “Oh, ten more minutes til 8:30, see?”.
#33
You’re meant to read to your baby often and from as early as possible to help with language development. But for a good two years they won’t understand what you’re saying anyway so instead of the same baby books over and over I just scrolled through Reddit reading posts out loud.
#34
I recently flew internationally with my toddler and to keep him chill in the long security lines and customs lines I would tell him if he didn’t stay quiet they wouldn’t let him on the plane. And then once on the plane if he started getting cranky I’d tell him if he was too loud they’d have to turn around and take him home ? Made it through 12 hours total of flying with 10 min of crying so I’m calling it a win.
#35
Something that has only recently been pointed out to me as potentially unethical – pulling your kids loose baby teeth out. My husband was horrified when I told him my siblings and I never had loose teeth for long because once they were “loose enough” one of my parents would just pull it the rest of the way out with their hands. Sure, it hurt but the (accidentally*) generous tooth fairy made up for it.
*I have 5 siblings and my dad accidentally gave the oldest $20 one time (grabbed the wrong bill). Of course, she bragged about getting so much money for it so subsequently all our teeth were quite valuable. They did manage to “logically explain” the value down to $5 a tooth after your initial $20 but with 6 kids, it adds up lmfao.
#36
So I think everyone knows the “don’t react initially if they fall down or appear to hurt themselves in some way” trick
Mine goes a step further – act like they may have damaged the thing they hit. Kids love breaking stuff. I diffused a bedtime knock last night in which my son smacked his head against the bed guardrail. I immediately commented that he must have put a crack in the bed, pointing out the (already present) seam between two boards of the guard rail. He was proud that he was able to do it. Then of course I noted that he’ll have to be more careful so he doesn’t break his bed so that he wouldn’t keep doing it
Got him from the verge of tears to grinning happily in 10 seconds flat.
#37
I’m not sure this qualifies as unethical but my kids sure thought it did.
When they were young, they has difficulty gaining weight. It wasn’t that they weren’t eating, their metabolisms were just too fast. One of the thing the doctors recommended was giving them milkshakes every morning. This would pack in the calories but we realized it would also fill them up so they wouldn’t get some other nutrients and especially any fiber. I began adding chocolate flavored protein powders and frozen spinach (turns out frozen spinach is close to flavorless). One morning they caught me throwing the spinach into the blender and had a fit. I told them this was the first time I tried it and promised not to do it again. The next morning I added it anyway as well as some chocolate chips so they’d have a special treat as an apology.
It was adorable having them come up to me and tell me it was the best milkshake I’d ever made with tinybgreen bits of spinach in their teeth.
BTW they’re now in their 20s and are nearly a head taller than me & my wife.
#38
Kid wants juice all the time instead of water? Get a cold glass of water and tell them it’s “Ice Juice”.
#39
When my daughter still believed in Santa Claus, I would pretend to call or text Santa when she misbehaved. I even had Alexa call Santa once because she thought I was bluffing and Alexa did try to call him LMAO. I had no idea Alexa could even do that.
#40
A friend of mine convinced his kids that the toy store is really a toy museum. You can look, but you can’t touch and you can’t bring anything home.
#41
I think my favorite was the quiet game. When kids are being loud and noisy, tell them we’re going to play the quiet game. Whoever can stay quiet the longest, wins.
#42
I let my kid taste beer when she was 2-3 years old. And when i say taste, i mean she put a finger in the glass and taste it. Of course, she didn’t like it.
Then, every time i was drinking something i didn’t want my kid to drink, like carbonated soft drinks, that are full of sugar, i always told her it’s beer. I would reinforce that belief every time i would drink beer, letting her finger test.
She reached 5 and a half years old, still not wanting to taste Pepsi, Sprite, Fanta etc and i hope i can keep the charade going for as long as i can.
She did taste Pepsi once, but she said it’s too sweet and preffered her apple juice…but i still don’t want to risk it.
#43
This may have worked better for me since one of the kid’s parents has hearing loss, but I told my 4-at- the- time nephew that I couldn’t hear whining but if he would like to try again in a different tone of voice, I could understand him better – right now I could see his lips move but that was all. He did an admirable job with modulation after that and I got him what he’d asked for.
#44
My daughter no longer watches Gabby’s Dollhouse in the mornings because Gabby is sleeping. She also does not watch during the week because Gabby is at school.
#45
We tell the kids that the tooth fairy only buys clean teeth because she eats them and no one wants to eat dirty teeth. It’s also how we explain that the tooth fairy still needs so many teeth after all these centuries.
#46
Works for about age 2 to 5 when they’re near a birthday. Tell the kid you’ll take their birthday away if they don’t shape up. “Oh, 4 year olds don’t act like this. Maybe you aren’t ready to turn 4. You may just have to stay 3 this year.”.
#47
When my son was a baby, dude cried like a banshee, and he cried a lot. I was the bath-giver, and it was especially bad in there due to the small space. So I went on Amazon and got myself some noise muffling earmuffs (like what you’d use on a gun range or something) and it made the crying so much less stressful and easy to deal with so I could just focus on loving him without the noise grating my soul.
Maybe not that unethical, but I’ve gotten negative reactions from some people when I told them about it.
#48
This is a really old school but interesting parenting concept my great grandmother told me. Growing up she was the oldest of 12 siblings in an immigrated Italian family. Every night at the end of dinner her dad would pour all the kids a shot glass of wine. None of the kids grew up to abuse alchohol because drinking small amounts in moderation was instilled in them since childhood.
Obviously this is considered unethical today, but for 1920s standards it’s pretty genius imo.
#49
It’s okay to do little white lies to get your kid to listen. Sometimes explaining it the correct way still doesn’t get through
for example if your kid has a problem with mooning people, you can just tell them that they’ll attract barking spiders that’ll attack at the sight of said butt and then boom! No more mooning?.
#50
My grandmother used to go around the house with a needle when my mom were like 2yo and everytime she or her brothers/sisters tried to touch an electrical outlet my grandma would sting them with the needle fast so they link the outlet to a hurtful experience.
None of the kids would go near an electrical outlet again. It worked like a charm the 1st day they discovered the outlets they would never try to touch them.
#51
You have Santa’s phone number. Still remember the time our babysitter told us that. She called the ole m**o once when we were acting up. Damn her.
#52
When the batteries ran out or were “lost” on a particularly annoying toy, my mom would tell us, “Oh hun I’m so sorry! But they don’t make those kinds of batteries anymore.” We would be disappointed and move on making our own noises for the thing. Which was way more fun than the preset ones. Wasn’t till I was much older (I won’t say how old) that I realized batteries didn’t change kinds like fashion brands.
Also, when we lived in Europe, the winters were a whole lot colder than we were used to. So once we had all piled into the car and we’re heading to church, of course, we’d complain about the cold despite car blankets and being bundled to high heaven. So my mom would tell us there was a light on the dash that would tell her when she could turn the hot air on. So we’d ask and ask about the light. There is no light. She would just watch the engine temp until it was warm enough to pump hot air into the van. I was also much older than I’d like to say when that clicked.
#53
Telling your child that an old man is watching their every move, and in order to get gifts they have to be good. and if they’re bad then they won’t get any presents at Christmas.
And also that the guy who Christmas is about is also watching them and if they don’t follow his rules they’ll be burned in hell for all eternity.
Also, we have a nanny cam set up in your room and if we see you’re being naughty you’ll be punished.
Oh, and the government is watching you too, all the time. They can basically read your mind.
#54
Wow. I was just going to say that changing the words to a song you lovingly sing to a crying baby into horrific historical tortures you can think of (that have to rhyme though) makes you take out your frustration in a way that doesn’t hurt the baby.
Sounds horrifying to new parents when you suggest it though.
#55
My mom used to take me to my grandparents house when my brother and I were playing up. My grandpa would give me plastic scissors and tell me it’s my turn to cut the lawn and my brother a brush and bucket of water, tell him he needs to paint the fence but if it dries the paint doesn’t work so start again.
We would be out there hours.
One time he asked us to dig a hole in his garden for a tree, came out hour and a half later to tell us it’s in the wrong place and we need to move the hole.
Tbf, it gave my mom the break she needed and kept us out of trouble.
#56
Turn up the music in the back of the minivan. You’ll be able to hear everything the teenagers are talking about…
#57
Up until they understand the calendar, a kids birthday is always on a Saturday.
#58
My kids goldfish died while we were on vacation and I was prepared to have a lesson about the transience of life and that all things eventually perish
“Daddy, where’s Mr Fishy?”
“Well Boogie, he’s…”
<– sees worried almost tearful little eyes
“On vacation! Know how you and I went on vacation? So did he and we’re going to pick him up right now”
<– drives to pet shop
“Hmm Boogie, I don’t see Mr Fishy anywhere… do you?”
“DADDY! He’s right there!!”
“I can’t believe I missed him! Why don’t you check out some of the other stuff and I’ll pay his room and board at the cashier”.
#59
Used to tell my nieces that everytime they lied a blue dot would show up on their forehead lol.
#60
Blame them for your investments. I bought hella electronic music gear just saying that my kid might enjoy and get into it. She plays with it while I code. New Car? “I think [Child’s Name] would be more comfortable in a new car.”.
#61
Tell them anything you are eating or drinking is spicy. Especially chocolate and ice cream.
#62
Not sure how unethical this is, but here we go. i have two older siblings. my parents didn’t know the best way for them to help my oldest sibling how to read. My other sibling (middle child), they did ‘the smartie game’. (smarties are a type of sweet by the way) Every time they got a flash card word right, they got given a smartie.
For me though, every time I got a word right, all three of us would get a smartie. So my siblings used to chase me around the house just before ‘the game’ with the flash cards, making sure I knew what the card said, because they wanted the sweets.
It doesn’t have to be smarties (or other sweet for that matter), but the bribery worked well it seems.
#63
My mother used to tell us the shop wasn’t opened for whatever we want if she forgot or didn’t want to go. I swear that I wouldn’t do that to my children. What did I do? I had to do it once or twice.
#64
Illusion of choice.
We can have x or y. What do *you* want?
This might not be unethical depending on how you feel about it and how you use it. In the end, children, just like adults, want to be treated with respect and decency. They want to know their input is valued.