It’s no secret that not everyone is equally excited about the possibility of becoming a parent; that’s why a growing number of people reportedly choose to remain child-free.
To some, that’s not an easy decision to make—even those who want to be child-free might have certain doubts or reasons not to—but others seem to enjoy the benefits of life with no kids, seeing close to no disadvantages of such an arrangement.
Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ subreddit were recently asked to share what their life was like without children. User ‘xtzq11’, also known simply as Benjamin, addressed the child-free married couples in the community and quite a few were willing to describe their child-free experience. If you’re curious about what they had to say, scroll down to find their stories on the list below.
#1
We are the age (71m &70f) when most would have grandchildren, would want to be near them, be there for the holidays and birthdays. But instead we are just entering our third year of vagabonding around the world, footloose and fancy free. No responsibilities and no worries. Life has been good from the get-go, but now it’s never been better!
Image credits: Two4theworld
#2
Quiet when we want. Loud when we want. Late when we want. Early when we want.
Whatever we want, whenever we want, assuming our cats get their scheduled meals.
Edit: we have auto feeders on a schedule, they just want their morning and night little wet food meals.
Thanks for the cake day wishes!
Image credits: 30_rack_of_pabst
#3
My wife has a small army of nieces and nephews. So we just rent kids whenever we want one.
Image credits: Cool_Requirement722
#4
A lot of people on here have mentioned having access to more materialistic things like more money, travel, house/s etc. but I think it’s also important to mention that being child-free gives you time to be selfless towards others in society rather than just inside your own four walls.
There is so much emotional and physical energy available for volunteer work, caring for abandoned members in society, and running and participating in sports and social groups that it really becomes super emotionally fulfilling and the complete opposite of being lonely both for yourself and the people you’re spending time with.
Image credits: Loud_Friend3394
#5
Life is life. There are good days and bad days, happy days and sad days. But I imagine there is a lot less stress in our days than there would have been if we had children. We don’t regret, don’t feel like we’re missing out, 8 years in we still don’t want kids. Life is just life.
Image credits: Trillian181
#6
My sister is 42 and her partner is 46, neither have kids. They’ve retired, moved to Thailand and are enjoying life. This has inspired me to not have kids.
Image credits: His_RoyalBadness
#7
Sometimes I just feel really unfulfilled, like I haven’t done anything worthwhile with my life.
Lol jk it’s the best, I can do anything I set my mind to because I don’t have to spend all of my time, energy, and money on anything I don’t want.
Image credits: UltimaGabe
#8
Been married 32 years, visited 110 countries, lived in 7, semi retired with 3 dogs, paid off house and 2 rental properties, I’d say life is good.
Image credits: W4OPR
#9
Quiet. We both grew up in loud, toxic households. None of that bs in our house.
Image credits: With2
#10
Well, my husband decided that cheating on me was a good idea. And now wants an open relationship. So… can just say I’m glad we didn’t have kids. That would be a much messier divorce.
Image credits: _Fish_Tacos_
#11
No complaints. Disposable income. Free time. Travel whenever.
Image credits: granolabeef
#12
Well, I’m not arguing with anyone to brush their teeth or do homework. There has not been a single tear shed today. Definitely not a single scream. My white couch is looking immaculate, I’m researching snorkeling tours for our next vacation and I had a bagel for dinner, because why not?
Although I do have to say, one of the dogs threw up. It’s really ruined the whole day.
Image credits: JustGenericName
#13
*twirls like Julie Andrews on an alpine mountain top on a clear and sunny day*.
Image credits: 4th_chakra
#14
Just got back from a 3 week trip to Europe. And went to Peru for thanksgiving last year.
All for about *half* of what my best friend spent on childcare last year.
Image credits: caverunner17
#15
…About to install gorgeous off-white wool carpet in the bedrooms without a care in the world. Also flying across the world next week on three days notice for work/fun. That pretty much sums it up!
Image credits: LeatherRecord2142
#16
Sometimes we get up at sunrise to go surf and eat breakfast on the beach. Sometimes we stay in bed till the last minute before work. Everyday is mainly doing what we feel like doing which creates a very happy life.
Image credits: Blanhooey_fan_club
#17
DINKWP here. Its JOYUS! Have the pets. They are spoiled rotten and eat like royality. We dont travel much but we go on lots of dates and cook fabulous meals at home. We love to experiment with new recipes and dont have to worry about “if the kids will eat it”.
Image credits: thebellybuttonbandit
#18
It’s wonderful. We travel whenever we want, we have time to spend together and time spent doing other things that interest each other. Money is easier. We rarely argue. We don’t resent each other as I see in so many of my friends marriages. We are well rested and enjoy our lives. Chef recommends.
Image credits: Sharkleberry9000
#19
As an unwed, childless woman – I am so grateful for my choices. Posting now at 01:49 Thursday morning whilst watching whatever I chose. I spent 2 hours today w 2 friends and both of their 2 year olds and it just reaffirmed my choice. Hearing them complain about their S/Os as well… hard pass to all of that. Y’all can do it.
#20
I’d say life is pretty f*****g good. I’m retiring in 5-8 years, which is almost 2 decades ahead of most of my peers.
Image credits: Wooden-Advantage-747
#21
It’s pretty freakin awesome. My only reason for not having children is simply a lack of desire. Now that I’m in my 50’s I can honestly say that my current lifestyle is a direct result of not having any. I have far more time, energy and disposable income that I would not have if I’d had children. When I was explaining to the world in my 20’s that I just didn’t want kids, I had no idea that as I aged I would see and appreciate the benefits of being childfree more and more. I didn’t realize until my 40’s that my life was truly affected in a positive way that I can only attribute to no children.
Not a day goes by that I don’t thank my lucky stars I don’t have kids.
I’m truly free.
#22
I can’t have kids. Some people just can’t. But I love kids, and try to stay active in my niece and nephews lives. I teach kids during volunteer stuff. And I love tweens and teens especially they’re loads of fun and curious and learning all the time.
Life is easier without kids. I do things differently than my sister’s do for sure. But I also think people who avoid kids entirely are missing out. There are lots of kids who could use a caring adult in their lives. I can’t imagine my life without Any kids involved. I just didn’t birth them myself. But I still love them and care about them.
Image credits: kyuuei
#23
Well unfortunately the big thing holding us back right now is that we can barely afford to house and feed ourselves. Everyone says “no one can REALLY afford kids” to which I say “okay but if we had kids right now we would starve and die.”
So…not great.
Image credits: Jojo056123
#24
Just back from a trip to Europe last month. We’re having our bathroom remodeled now that we’re home. We’re both contributing the max to retirement accounts, easy peasy. We literally never fight about money or chores.
At the moment, the dog and cat are sleeping on the sofa next to us while my wife studies for a local community college course she’s taking for fun and I watch cooking YouTube.
Image credits: absolutemuffin
#25
The overwhelming positivity seems really dishonest or maybe this just happened to draw in a lot of highly privileged upper class folks?
I am in my mid-30s and realistically will probably never have kids because it takes all of my energy just to live and function in the U.S. It never felt like a choice, it feels like survival. And with my genetics, I could end up raising a child with significant needs that I am not equipped to meet because I need a lot of support myself. My parents needed support too and didn’t get it, which made growing up being raised by them awful.
It feels like everyone in my life is struggling regardless of whether they have kids or not. What is important to me is family, biological and chosen, and being there for each other. The thought of family dwindling down to nothing and the fracturing of families and communities is terrifying. We need each other.
Image credits: Emotional_Onion6386
#26
Well I just picked up my husbands wet towel off the bed, yet again, so I still feel like I have a child sometimes despite not giving birth to any.
Image credits: i_love_poutines
#27
Right now? Pretty sad. I really don’t want anything in this life but to have kids and take care of my family and my home. But we can’t afford it. I don’t think I will ever not be sad about it.
Image credits: purplereuben
#28
Not kid free, but all of mine are adults now.
It’s glorious! We have money! We don’t have to save up for renovations, weekend getaways, toys, etc. We bought a hottub and have constantly been renovating since our youngest graduated in 2021. I don’t regret having my boys, but I do think about where we’d be financially if we’d been kid free. I mean, we’re very comfortable now, a mere three years into being empty nesters. I didn’t realize just how much we spent on them until we weren’t handing out lunch money, school fees, sports fees, and buying school supplies, clothes, and groceries! It was a LOT.
#29
The only downside is that since people know me as the one with lots of disposable income, I became an emergency ATM.
Image credits: sofutotofu
#30
I honestly feel guilty sometimes about how great our life is. Because I know it’s better than anyone else I’ve met. Then again, we both worked our asses off to cultivate this life together.
Been married 23 years, met online (mIRC) as teenagers back in 1999. Connected on art, video games, politics, music, introversion, and the strong desire to never have children or pets.
All these years later, it’s amazing. We both quit our jobs in 2009 to focus on our own businesses. Mine did well enough for her to “retire” in 2016. In reality, she helps me with taxes, paperwork, maintaining the house, among many other things, keeping me sane.
We live in a beautiful house, in a quiet, wooded neighborhood. We recently fell head over heels in love with pinball together and have spent a ridiculous amount of time and money on our collection/hobby.
We’re both introverts/homebodies. Unlike a lot of people here, we kinda hate traveling. So we spend our time building up our wonderful nest at home together, with tons of room for high end gaming rigs, workout areas, massive bedroom, all kinds of ridiculous smart home s**t, like voice activated curtains and bidets, 2 kitchens, and we just had a conversation if it’s too decadent to get a 2nd mini fridge for our condiment collection. We have loud parties for just the two of us at least once a week, screaming our heads off, singing karaoke, being idiots.
That’s the joy of being able to spend time with your partner, instead of time and money on something neither of you want. We are closer and more in love than we were as teenagers, dating long distances, across borders, and not seeing each other for months at a time.
I’m sure some people absolutely love being parents, and tell you how much you’ll regret it later in life if you don’t. Yeah, not us. Not a single minute has gone by in our 25 year relationship where we even slightly considered, or regretted having kids or pets.
She just leaned over in bed (sleeping in on a work day cause we work from home) and asked what I was reading. I said, it’s a thread asking “Married couples that decided NO on kids, what’s your life like?” She laughed very heartily and said “Awesome”.
She also had an interested observation on the question posed here:
*“Deciding NO on kids doesn’t make sense. You don’t decide NOT to have kids. You decide TO have kids. It’s a telling skew on the question, reflective of an inherent bias in society, and indicative of the mindless lack of intentionality when it comes to the responsibility of dedicating 20+ years to bringing a new life into this world.”*
I agree. Smart woman. Glad I don’t have any noisy a*s kids or dogs to distract me from listening to her.
#31
It is wonderful. I can sleep and nap when I want, I don’t need to cut back on my hobbies, I can sleep and nap when I want, all of our extra money goes towards fun and savings, AND, I can sleep and nap when I want.
#32
Amazing…we have Aunty and Uncle Boot Camp where once they turn 18 they come over. We teach them all about personal finance, teach them how to run an equitable house and some relationship advice. We have College Nights where we order pizza apply for scholarships or jobs. The week between Christmas and NYE we have an open house where the kiddos can come and go. Parents usually need a break. Me and Hubby travel, save and do tons of day trips.
#33
Haven’t chosen yet but kicked the can down the road long enough that at some point we need to actually make a decision.
I dunno, there’s lots I want to do, I like my freedom and lack of responsibilities. I like not stressing about money. Would like to take a year off and go backpacking one last time without being one of those weird oldie burnouts still doing it.
But I’m kinda bored. I struggle to give a s**t about anything, at least the things I have control over. Like what’s the point in working any harder or pushing myself? I get no satisfaction from having more in my bank account or a fancy title or what have you. My spare time is spent doing mundane stuff like watching tv, hiking or just rotating through hobbies. The older I get, the shallower the world looks.
I see people who like to brag about not having kids like it’s so amazing, but the things they brag about are like meh? Oh cool you can play some video games in the evening. Quiet? Quiet to me is boredom
From a purely selfish point of view I wouldn’t mind a child to give me some structure and purpose. Give me a reason to get up in the morning and go home at night. A reason to stay on the straight and narrow, to stay put and commit to things. Close a few doors, provide boundaries and relieve me of some decision fatigue. If I had a child I would gain so much clarity.
Plus I have a lot of love to give, I’d like to watch them grow up, teach them the things I know.
Like my brother has 2 kids and he’s a different man. He said it’s given him so much self-confidence because he knows he’s a good father (we’re well practiced having lots of younger siblings). He’s so much kinder and more charismatic and clearly happier.
But on the other hand it’s comforting to know nothing matters. If I get sick of anything in my life I can just walk away.
Swings and roundabouts.
#34
In the past 4 years we’ve lived in Tokyo, Vilnius, and I’m writing this from Barcelona where we are looking at apartments. Another DINK couple is moving in with us so we can afford a penthouse with a view. My partner is making a video game and I am pursuing my pilot license in between blacksmithing and stone carving. We’re active in the bdsm community. Life is…fun, if pressed to use a single adjective.
#35
My biggest fear about this is that at old age, if I’ve no kids and the rest of my family is distant or passed away, my whole identity would practically be attached to my spouse. When my spouse dies, I’ll have no one left close to me. Scary stuff.
#36
We are in our late 30s, married 11 years. We have very little stress compared to others our age who did have kids. I took 3 years off work for health reasons, and I could never have done that with kids. It’s a quiet life, and we do what we want when we want. One of the big perks is that when I get sick, I can focus on getting better instead of tending to a demanding mini-me.
#37
My wife (48f) and I (53m) absolutely love it. All of our siblings have kids and they all are their own version of miserable and broke.
We haven’t regretted our decision for a second.
#38
Peaceful.
We watch what we want when we want, eat what we want when we want, sleep when we want, don’t have to worry about getting back home at a certain time or making sure the other isn’t too wore out cuz the only other to care about is an adult responsible for their self. We can speak/say what we want when we want, and also have sex where we want when we want in our own apartment. on sick days I only have to take care of myself, I don’t have anyone else to clean up after or teach to take care of themselves, I get to eat all the candy and ice cream I buy I don’t have to sneak my treats that I don’t want to share. I don’t have to hide in the bathroom or a pantry when I just need some time to myself I simply tell my husband I would like some alone time and he leaves me alone. I have time to focus on my hobbies such as reading and writing and hiking.
It’s the been the best part of my life so far I’m glad I stuck around.
#39
Regretful, and its gonna get worse as time goes on.
#40
Glorious.
Less to argue about. We literally pick up and travel whenever. We have most of our retirement in order, we sleep well, and we can each do our own thing without having to run many things by one another. We are really annoyed by kids so we’re extremely happy.
Image credits: izzybyrd
#41
Well, we just spent our day on the couch cuddling the cat and playing Baldur’s Gate so.. Pretty f*****g great tbh.
#42
Great! We can do whatever we want, whenever we want, more or less. We’re thrilled with our choices.
We don’t have the tensions that we see in our friends / families with young kids, but we get to enjoy the benefits of rich lives as aunts/uncles.
We also don’t fight, which seems rare, but rarer still in exhausted parents. Not to say we don’t discuss/debate/argue, but it’s not heightened and we communicate without the cloud of emotion that exhaustion can bring.
We do, however, get sick every f*****g time they bring their snotty kids to events. ?.
#43
We still have our struggles with money, work, and so forth. It’s not the care-free, rich utopia some child-free folks claim to live in. But I can’t imagine it would be easier if we had to support kids on top of it. Neither of us can cut back on our jobs to parent or magically grow more money to afford kids. Overall I’m happy with our lives but I do wonder sometimes what it would be like if we had kids. I’m sure they would be nice people.
But I also don’t see what other options we realistically had. We both worked in the arts, and couldn’t slow down our careers to dedicate the time required to it and also pay our bills. I think we have more comfort in our lives and more opportunities than we would have had otherwise. But there’s also no way to see what things would have been like on a different timeline. Either way it’s important to be grateful for the good things you have. Life is hard, either way. Adding kids seems to make it much harder, and so we didn’t. That’s not to say it isn’t worth it for people who did, that’s just how our path worked out.
Image credits: abandonedamerica
#44
I’m at a Third Eye Blind concert at Red Rocks tonight, life is good.
Image credits: LandofBacon
#45
Many days it’s great. Some days it’s very lonely.
Without a lot of responsibilities it’s fairly easy to just wing most things.
Image credits: deadbalconytree
#46
I’m not saying this applies to anyone else necessarily, but for me personally, my life was exactly as all of the positive comments on here when my wife and I thought we didn’t want kids. Then at 39 we decided to do it anyway and now that I have one I don’t miss any of that other stuff at all even when it’s hard. In fact, none of those previously invaluable perks seem the least bit important anymore. I wouldn’t give up one moment with my son for all the random travel or home remodeling in the world. This is coming from someone with no experience with kids and zero natural parental inclination. .
#47
Honestly, it’s great. My husband and I both discussed early on in the relationship that we didn’t want kids, and we haven’t changed our minds. This may be a weird analogy, but you know those dreams you have where you realize you haven’t been going to a class all semester, and then you wake up and have an overwhelming feeling of relief? That’s kind of what it feels like lol.
I know myself pretty well, and there are things that I’m just not willing to give up for a child. People may think it’s selfish, but I would rather not have kids than 1) give up doing the things I love and 2) potentially being a s****y parent because I’m unhappy. I also don’t think you should find happiness in your kids and don’t believe that “once you have a kid you’ll realize the other things aren’t that important after all,” though on the other end I don’t think that just because you have kids you can’t have it all. Plenty of people manage to juggle both, I’m just not willing to take that risk. It’s unavoidable that your life and priorities change when you have a child, or it should be anyway, and I like my life the way it is and don’t want to take time away from my passions onto something else that needs 24/7 attention.
#48
We spend way to much time on work, go out to eat, do fun outings with friends, and occasionally wonder if we are making a terrible mistake. We took a very long time to get financially stable. Then bought a house, then I lost my job, so we are still in pretty much the same place we were 10 years ago.
#49
We wake up around roughly the same time every day, snuggle lazing in the sun until we feel like getting up to shower. Quiet mornings with the dogs, making breakfast and coffee. Small talk about what the day will be like followed by work. End of the day, I come home to a house exactly how I left it. I get welcomed by my dogs and husband. We kiss and dance in the kitchen and make dinner however we want then go rock climbing at the gym for a couple of hours with our friends. We’re both around 30 so it’s a well established life. Weekends we rope climb and paddle board while going to community markets in the morning in no rush. Sometimes we take impromptu trips to go camping out of state. The bank account slowly grows in this economy for sure but we make do. Everything is peaceful and adventurous and amazing while we spend our lives with one other, our families, and friends. Zero regrets.
#50
Quiet.
Clean house.
I can do whatever I want on a given day with no obligations.
Building on the above: I have so much time to develop my hobbies: fitness, reading, woodworking, baking, gilding, other random projects.
So much disposable income.
We don’t have that much laundry to do.
Going out somewhere is not a big event. (This can mean anything from “going to the grocery store” to “hey let’s drive to another part of the country and spend the night”.)
Overall I like that my life is about me (and my partner) and I don’t suddenly have to put another person in the #1 spot. As in: I don’t have to sacrifice mental or physical health to care for another being. I’m sure most parents find balance eventually, or even like putting someone else first… But I like putting me first. I like my life and my hobbies and don’t have an urge to change any of that.
#51
Great. We go where we want, when we want, cook whatever we want. Have tons of free time and can travel anywhere in the world. We save a lot of money on childcare bills.
#52
It’s incredible, honestly. We both make good money, we’re in a soccer league together, I’m a musician and play in three different ensembles, we travel, have two cats, play video games together…yeah, wouldn’t give any of it up for kids.
#53
If I had had kids I know I would’ve still been happy but (big BUT) I am soooo content with my child free life. Gigs on the weekends, working in my art studio, lay ins, spontaneous trips.
#54
My wife and I constantly have people guess that we’re much younger than we are.
Less stress and more.time to take care of yourself will do that.
In terms of our lives in particular. They’re very full. Lots of time with friends and family and we both have. A lot of hobbies that keep us busy.
#55
Its glorious! All the kitty snuggles. All the support for each others joys.
#56
I’m getting married next week, me and my partner have been back and forth for a while and we’ve come to the realization that we probably don’t want kids. This world kinda sucks to bring new life in to, they’re expensive and we really like our lives now.