The differences between men and women – the ultimate inexhaustible topic. The one dead horse that we’ll probably keep beating for centuries to come. It seems that everything possible is already said. There are thousands of books and advice columns written about it, movies, TV shows, podcasts – you name it. Yet we’re still here – talking, reading, and writing about it.
This particular thread has gotten quite a lot of attention. When one netizen asked, “Women, what do you find the most confusing about men?“, almost 30k people flocked to the comments to share their thoughts. From what men really think when they fall silent to why pooping takes so long for them – the women of Reddit had many unanswered questions.
#1
Why some men don’t go to the doctor or dentist, unless someone else makes the appointment for them.
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#2
Why they can’t find anything that is right in front of them I swear to god I find everyone’s things for them at work!
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#3
You can be completely oblivious to any mess in the house but can spot a wall has been brush painted in the wrong direction from 20ft away.
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#4
You know that meme, where a woman is thinking “huh, he’s probably thinking about other women” and in actuality the guy is thinking the most random of things. Yeah. That.
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#5
I’m a man. But something that confused my wife is when I suddenly take a deep breath for no reason. She’s like “are you ok? You sure? Anything you need to talk about? What’s going on?” And I just say “nah I’m fine, think I just forgot to breathe and catching up”.
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#6
That “we ain’t going to the doctor” but the limb has fallen off.
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#7
When they behave as the smartest man in the world and five minutes later as the village idiot.
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#8
Why do men always have the prettiest and longest eyelashes?
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#9
When guys are seriously injured but act like its just a scratch… that they can somehow walk it off. All the guys I know are like this.
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#10
So many men I know pass off just this really chill vibe and they all seem to just be cool with each other. How tf do they do it!?!?
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#11
I find it confusing how men are so forgiving. It’s one of the things I adore the most about men and find the most baffling. I’m learning now that men will get over things like 40 minutes after they happen and genuinely get frustrated and sad when their girls hold grudges. I’ve found that the people I’ve had falling outs with and was able to rekindle my friendships with were mostly all men.
I also find it weird how men will fight each other and then be best friends the next day.
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#12
Acting like a person you are not at all in front of your boys, just to be cool. And every single one the boys does that and no one feels comfortable with that. How the f**k does that make sense?
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#13
Their inability to close drawers and cupboards properly despite being practical and intelligent. This may be isolated to one individual though.
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#14
My gf is still baffled at the fact that I can just turn off my brain and not think of anything
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#15
My wife’s biggest gripe is that I will spend time hiking / drinking / driving / whatever with friends I haven’t seen in months, and when I get home I will have absolutely nothing to report back despite having talked solidly with them for six hours.
My wife on the other hand will casually pass a friend in the street and within ten minutes knows what theyve done every day since they last spoke, the health and financial status of them and all other friends and relatives, and a forward facing calendar for the next three months.
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#16
Some men have absolutely no problem picking after themselves at work, but forget how to do it the moment they step into their homes.
I swear it’s like a switch.
How can you keep a whole workshop at work neat and tidy, but forget that the laundry basket exists?
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#17
When a guy will slip something very heartbreaking into a convo , like something an extremely abusive parent did or whatever and he’s talking about it very casually and your like holy f**k my dude are you alright but you can’t actually say that or overreact too much because he’ll never tell you anything again if you do so you have to sit there and be like ahhh yes that sucks dude but inside ur like sir may I hug you please
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#18
Why can’t they find things? If you ask them to bring you something from the closet, refrigerator, living room, whatever, they can’t find it!
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#19
Why do y’all think danger is fun
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#20
How they can’t answer or respond to more than one thing in a text message.
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#21
Why they take such a long time to poop.
Do you go in there when you actually need to go or just because you think you might need to go so you just sit for a while to see what happens?
As a woman both kinds of trips to the toilet take the same amount of time for me. But every man I know makes pooping a 30 minute event.
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#22
I always tell my wife if it’s not (was not): moving, on fire, or naked I didn’t see it.
#23
How can they be so smart, and have so many knowledge about something, but they can be so, so stupid, do they have a switch about topics?
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#24
How is it that I know so many older level headed men who have good values, passion for their work and opinions and they aren’t afraid of expressing themselves, the way they speak about their wives and families makes me want to go back into dating, but when I look at men my age, suddenly most of them are dodgy, scared of commitment and scared of having and expressing their opinions.
I don’t want to date men who are 50-60 but I’m so envious of their wives for finding such a good men to spend their lives with.
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#25
How do I know they are interested in me? How do I make it known to them that I’m interested in them?
I’m way too shy to confess face to face, and yet I also find confessing though a text insincere.
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#26
Friendship between men!
It’s like you guys find a group of friends in your teens or college years and be like that’s it, enough socializing for the rest of our life and actually manage to maintain those friendships. How do you do this? I admit I’m a bit jealous. 😉
But then again so often dudes admit to me they can’t open up with their male friends, hide their feelings and problems and keep conversations shallow which I think is kinda sad. Maybe that’s the secret why those friendships last. But it adds to the confusing part, because I question a friendships worth if it doesn’t provide a safe space between the individuals.
Disclaimer. I am aware both of those paragraphs don’t apply to all men. I’m talking to the ones it does apply to.
Edit; Thank you for sharing your experiences and opinions guys! You’re amazing and you gave me me a lot of insight. I’m still catching up with reading all comments since it’s quite a lot more than expected, but thank you very much for your efforts and for opening up.
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#27
When my boyfriend is quiet for too long and I ask him what he’s thinking about, and he says simply, “nothing”, and shrugs. This happens at least twice a month.
What … what do you mean … nothing???? You can actively sit there and just wipe your brain clean??? No buzz buzz?? Just elevator music behind the eyes???
What kind of f*****g superpower is that and where do I sign up??
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#28
I’ve learned a lot being married to my husband, but there’s one thing I fail to understand in general. Why do you guys like to stare out the window so often? It’s usually just going up to a window or looking out the front door, and you fall into a trance. What’s up with that?
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#29
I’m a dude, but why do we all pretty much collectively enjoy digging random holes? Especially at the beach.
Edit: just got back from the beach and yes, I did dig a hole there!
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#30
Once upon a time my girlfriend sent me into a gas station to get her a “can of Mountain Dew”. So I go in and search all over the place but they don’t have single cans of Mountain Dew, only bottles. But then I see it… a 12 pack of canned Mountain Dew. Now in my guy brain she said “can” so I was not coming out of that store with a bottle. When I go back to the car with the 12 pack she asked why I got 12 cans of Mountain Dew. I explained my logic and she started laughing uncontrollably. She brings this up all the time with other women when explaining how “guys think differently”.
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#31
I don’t find this confusing, more sad. A lot of men aren’t told how handsome, sexy, good looking they are. I tell my husband how much he turns me on daily, and I feel like women get that all the time but men, not so much.
Edit: Dang this blew up. I just want to say all you guys deserve to be told how sexy you are and you should definitely let it be known! I don’t think a lot of partners out there realize how much you’d appreciate it.
Image credits: Twingrlie
#32
I don’t understand why it is so hard to take no. Why do I need to justify a straight to the point no. Like no I will not go to this basically empty of people area almost in the woods or no I don’t want to sleep with you.
#33
I cannot understand the logic that you want me to get a full time job and work just as hard as you during the week, but also want all the comforts of a 1950’s housewife without putting in any of the work yourself.
#34
My girlfriend is blown away that I can text/call friends to hang out. That I haven’t hung with in months. And they are down!!! No questions asked. “Yeah sure I’ll be over in 20 minNo questions asked
#35
The obsession some men have with sports. Personally I don’t get it, it’s just a bunch of guys throwing a ball around for two hours. I’m not bashing anyone who likes sports, I just don’t get it.
#36
That some will show immense interest in you, but as soon as you give them the same energy in return, they back off. I don’t like that and usually I’ll back up and move on. It’s confusing and very frustrating
#37
Why do guys just sit in silence sometimes. I thought for a long time my boyfriend was sick of me but he was just sitting there with his brain off ig…
#38
I’m a man, but let me offer something I find confusing about other men, which I’m sure women do too.
Why do you get so defensive when a woman points out some trait of men they’ve been around that they don’t like? Why do you feel personally attacked? If you don’t like the accusations that some men are pervs and rapists, what does it matter if you’re not a perv or a rapist? The term “not all men” gets thrown around a lot but a) no one said it was and b) it being “some men” is enough that women have to be careful.
All you need to do is not be that guy, and call out s****y behaviour when you can. That’s it.
#39
They like boobs to a level that can be pretty concerning at times lol
#40
Not a woman, but I’m confused on why I want to dropkick an alligator.
#41
The refusal of basic hygiene some men display.
Like I had a friend who absolutely refused to wipe of those last drops of pee after using the toilet.
For no reason.
He just said it’s unnecessary, even tho you always could see a nice wet spot in his pants.
#42
My wife along with her friends is amazed their sposes and I can fall asleep within a minute or two of my head hitting the pillow. I blame working a labor intensive job but I know some men don’t fall asleep no matter what. She is also amazed that I can’t properly load a dish washer or put food away into the pantry.
#43
Guys that say they don’t want a clingy girl.
Proceed to date a less clingy girl and feel neglected.
EDIT: I have to clear up my comment.
I intend this as men finding women with this toxic trait of clingyness. But once they come across a partner who is more independent and wants a healthy communication boundary. They find it not enough and yearn for the toxic trait they had been use to before.
#44
men that are willing to pay a lot of money just for pictures of feet or boobs when p**n can be free
#45
Why some men feel insecure when their girlfriends/spouses earn more than him.
#46
I still don’t understand d**k pics. Do they really think we look at a picture of a d**k, in terrible lighting, sweaty, untrimmed pubes, with your 10 year old briefs and gym shorts pulled down.
And go… oh yeah this is it. I’m glad I didn’t ask for this. The surprise during a fun conversation is so much better.
#47
What happens to your d***s when you run? Do you feel them flop around? And what do you do with it when you ride a bike?
#48
How do you just go to sleep?
#49
How they’re able to have so much fun with their friends all the time
They make digging a hole in the beach with their friends look like the most fun thing in the world I really admire that
#50
Speaking for my wife here: Missing the toilet almost every time I pee to some degree and then failing to recognize that I’ve missed until she points it out with physical evidence.
#51
Why they won’t buy a new wallet even tho the one they’re currently using is literally hanging by a single thread.
Edit: I love and appreciate the fact that it’s because it holds some sentimental value to most of you. Will keep in mind to gift those close to me in the future!
#52
Me after men’s league golf:
arrive home
wife: Who’d you play with?
me: Joe, ummm ummm John, ummm don’t remember 3rd guy
wife: What’d you talk about?
me: hockey
wife: what else?
me: ummm I don’t know.
#53
The things they find brag-worthy absolutely boggle my mind
Like they brag about the things that don’t even register, and the things that do matter they don’t realise even counts
#54
I’m 36, married, and never sent a d**k pic in my entire life. I’d only do it if my wife asked me to send her one, even then I’d question it. If she wants to see it she can just take my pants off…
Edit: Have asked my wife if she’s ever sent one to anyone and the answer was no, because she didn’t want it used against her one day if anything bad ever happened.
#55
Rules seem to make you happy. My boyfriend plays a lot of tabletop rpgs and Battletech and he’s said before that he’s not enjoying a game because I quote “there aren’t enough rules, it’s all a bit confusing”. Also follows for tasks ie. Can you microwave x for me? No that’s confusing. Microwave x for 1 minute 30 seconds exactly. He’s a happy happy man ?
Edit:
To answer general queries:
He has not been diagnosed with autism, he does have the spicy panic aka anxiety. I think this maybe partly why he likes rules/specific instructions? Though he does get a lot of autism/adhd tiktoks and has related to them so maybe?
He’s a historian specifically, war history.
Our microwave is 900w.
The game recs are very welcome and lovely, he is aware of the thread and enjoying seeing what people are recommending for him.
#56
The obsession with being the one who is the master of the barbecue.
#57
Why pooping takes so long
#58
How their crotch doesn’t hurt when they run or go up the stairs. Like, even with underwear, you just have stuff hanging down there. I don’t even have a large chest and it hurts to run regardless if I’m wearing a bra or not
#59
They barely complain, even on very important things they need to complain about.
Probably due to parents that suppressed the s**t out of anything they ever say unless it’s ez for them to handle.
#60
How most of your fights with friends are like, ‘punch each other and then you’re good’. Like how?!?!
#61
How they are easy to repress all feelings and emotions except anger (usually). It must be hurtful for them as much as it is for everyone around them.
Edit: Just a few days after I made this comment I saw this (https://youtu.be/bomWsgjLQjc). I recommend watching it, and I think it made me understand this matter.