Mutual attraction is absolutely vital if you want to have a healthy and happy romantic relationship. If it’s unrequited, things can get really awkward. Though many people know what qualities appeal to them the most, in theory, attraction can be sparked in the unlikeliest moments, even among friends.
The r/AskReddit online community spilled the tea about some unexpectedly hot moments in their lives. They revealed what their friends did that accidentally turned them on and what happened next. Scroll down to see what they had to share. Sometimes, all it takes is one good dance move, a subtle smile, or simply washing the dishes…
Dating expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, shed some light on attraction for us. He explained that personality and behavior are more important than looks, and also shared his thoughts on getting out of the dreaded ‘friend zone.’ Read on for the insights he shared with Bored Panda.
#1
Went round to a friends house to play DnD. She made us all nachos and chicken. At the end I went to wash up so as not to leave her with all our mess, I turned around and she put her hand on my chest, stared me straight in the eyes and told me I didn’t need to help. Nothing overtly sexy but she held my gaze and had her hand on my chest just slightly longer than would be expected. Anyway we’re married now
Image credits: gabjam
Though attraction can seem confusing to many people, dating expert Bacon pointed out that this isn’t the case.
“What guys need to understand is that triggering attraction in women isn’t as complicated as it seems,” the founder of The Modern Man project told Bored Panda via email.
“It mostly boils down to displaying personality traits and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women, such as confidence, masculinity, charm, charisma, being a playful challenge, humor, and social intelligence,” he explained.
#2
She dropped me off at the airport. I said thank you, goodbye, and gave her a kiss on the cheek before turning to get out of the car. As I started to get out, she said, “Is that it”? I turned back, locked eyes, and suddenly my heart started to ache. Suddenly I didn’t want to leave. We embraced but it was the first time we did so that wasn’t as just as friends. I remember holding her in the car, not wanting to let go, and suddenly having this rush of feelings that I’d never let myself feel before. I remember when I’d gotten to my destination (I was going to visit my aunt for a few weeks) and my aunt mentioned I seemed heart broken. I knew at that moment I was in love with my best friend. We’ve been together ever since I got back home. We just celebrated our 18th anniversary on March 17th.
Image credits: Veeksvoodoo
#3
“Get your butt in the car, we’re going to get Chinese food” He knew I wasn’t in a great state of mind and we had been friends for a handful of years. He drove to find me when I wouldn’t tell him where I was. After food he drove me to the store to get nerf guns and we battled. Wound up marrying him.
Image credits: anon
The dating expert noted that most guys don’t realize that they can “actively create a spark with a woman” by showcasing all of the positive traits.
“In other words, he doesn’t have to hope to be selected based on how he looks. He can actively create sparks of attraction inside of a woman he likes, so she then becomes interested in him.”
Bored Panda asked dating expert Bacon about how guys might be able to get out of the so-called ‘friend zone’ that many dread being thrown into.
#4
Put her hand on top of my head and scratched twice as she walked by my chair, sent tingles down my back. Didn’t know I like head scratches, woof lol.
Image credits: DunjonsAndDergons
#5
Shaved his head. We’d been friends for about a year, he had medium length hair but was balding badly, basically no hair on top at all. It had been a minute since we’d hung out and he walked in with a completely shaved head and I was like… damn I need to date this man. He looked SO good (still does)
We’ve been together 7 years now and have a baby!
Image credits: Sydskiddoo
#6
Rolled his sleeves up and reversed perfectly.
Eta. I didn’t expect this to get as much attention as it did so I’ll address some questions.
Yes, it was in a manual car.
It was a hot summers day so he rolled up his sleeves before we got in the car.
Yes, he did put his hand on the back of my chair.
Image credits: Potential-Skin-8610
“Firstly, he needs to begin displaying attractive traits,” the founder of The Modern Man said that being confident, masculine, playful, and humorous can make a guy seem attractive. This way, he’s seen as a potential boyfriend or lover.
“Secondly, he needs to begin flirting with her. Most guys overlook this, but flirting is the key to creating a sexual spark with women,” the dating expert told us.
“It’s a subtle art of expressing your sexual and romantic interest without coming on too strong. Most women know how to flirt, but most guys don’t.”
#7
The entire group went clubbing. He was saying something that I could not hear. He bent down and spoke against my ear. Questioned our 2 decades of platonic relationship at that second. Didn’t even hear what he said.
Image credits: anon
#8
I fumbled a move one night dancing with a friend. I thought he was going to dip me, but he spun me instead. Still, my mistake was enough for him to notice, so he dipped me and said “There, I’ve got you this time.” No right to be as hot as it was.
Image credits: InsideJokeQRD
#9
We were joking and she turned back, grabbed my neck and lightly strangled me. I haven’t been the same ever since
Image credits: axsirik
How someone looks definitely plays a key role in romance. To put it bluntly, everyone wants to feel attracted to their partner—and to feel attractive, in turn. However, looks really aren’t everything.
A person’s character, behavior, and values are also essential when we look at attraction. What this means specifically can vary a lot from individual to individual. But there are some common denominators (with plenty of exceptions, of course!).
#10
We were listening to a speech about a topic I wasn’t familiar with, so we were in the back and he was whispering explanations in my ear, and he had a really nice voice
Later I noticed the collar of his blazer had folded up, so I let him know, and with that nice voice he said “Fix it then” and bent his knees so I could reach. He was so warm I could feel it without even touching him, and he smelled so good
#11
I was unsure about something, and he started reassuring me by telling me how smart and hardworking I am.
It wasn’t really what he said, but how he said it. He got this very earnest, stern look on his face that I hadn’t seen before, held eye contact, stopped what he was doing, and told me why he was certain I’d be okay.
#12
A girl I became friends with on a school trip in high school fell asleep on my shoulders on the ride back.
I’m still coasting on that memory.
Image credits: anon
As Business Insider points out, good looks can be a factor for why women like men, but they’re not as important as you might think.
Having a good sense of humor, being kind to others, and being mindful are what draw women to men, according to research. Women also tend to like risk-takers, as well as guys who (sometimes) play hard to get.
#13
I was teaching her how to drive manual. Her first time driving, she got into first without stalling and shifted all the way to 6th. It was so perfect as if it was a automatic transmission. 1 year later and we’re married.
#14
She did that thing that girls do where they tilt their head. She was just listening to me talk about MRSA (we’re nursing students), and she was kind of smiling, listening to me go into depth about the illness for a test review, and she ever so slightly tilted her head and kept her very pretty eyes directly on mine. That mixed with the slight smile got my stomach in knots and I just started stuttering like a fool. It only happened like a week ago.
Image credits: bayala43
#15
When I (26f) went out for a drink one night with my friend C (25M) there was a guy I knew, he was hitting on me, asking me to go home with him and being really aggressive about it. I turned him down and the guy immediately turned on my friend.
The guy got in C’s face, saying that it was his fault that I wouldn’t go home with him, that he was a c**k block. C just stood his ground, crossed his arms and told him to leave in a very calm, firm voice.
The drunk guy eventually left but it was such a turn on to see C remain so level headed and calm in a tense situation where I’m used to guys being so reactive. It was super hot
Meanwhile, the Gentleman’s Journal notes that showing off your sensitive side and getting a dog can help you stand out from the competition. If you’re approachable and selfless, you’re only improving your chances of landing a date.
On the flip side, men tend to value women for their intelligence and creativity, good communication skills, loyalty, and optimism.
#16
We both tried grabbing the same cup and looked at each other. We’ve been together for awhile now.
Image credits: caughtbydeercam
#17
Helping me put on a tie because I didn’t know how.
Image credits: WWWWWWVWWWWWWWVWWWWW
#18
I asked her outside a party if my eyeliner had smudged. She took my jaw in her hands and gently but firmly turned my face back and forth to examine my makeup, then lightly patted my cheek and said it looked fine. I couldn’t even thank her, I just nodded and we moved on while I gathered myself, lol.
Image credits: anypebble
Marriage.com shares that among some of the qualities that men find the most attractive are friendliness, compassion, cleanliness, and independence.
Empathy and kindness appear to be universally attractive traits, no matter a person’s gender. This makes a lot of sense because human beings are social animals: we rely on communities not only to survive but also to thrive.
#19
I was annoying him, so he picked me up over his shoulder and dropped me on the couch, no biggie
(Was kinda hoping he’d spank me after propping me over his shoulder but)
Image credits: Desperate-Exit692
#20
We were at a party drinking and I got handed a shot. I said, “This one is going to f**k me up.” He looked right at me and softly said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”
I threw that shot straight back.
Image credits: ms_ing
#21
I am very tactile, he isn’t with anyone else but he always would pull me next to him when we were outside and it was chilly, would sit into my space at work meetings, always put his hand on my lower back when walking me in front of him or next to him.
It was nothing overtly sexual but the fact he didn’t do that with anyone else….. oh my
#22
Not neceserily a turn on but when i was in art school we went to a museum with a clown exhibit.
One of my classmates whom i had very little prior interaction with had a fear of clowns.
At a certain point something spooked her, she grabbed my arm. I felt like ‘me big monkey, me keep pretty lady safe’
Stupid as it was i had a little crush on her afterwards.
Image credits: lord_bubblewater
#23
We were wrestling and I pinned her down. She said “if this were a movie we’d make out right now”. I didn’t go for it that was 15 years ago I was just her maid of honor at her wedding I love her but oof.
Image credits: Bloodllust
#24
Button popped on her shirt exposing more tit than she ever exposed around me. We ended up getting married. Going on 10 years too. It was a happy accident.
#25
Gave me some eyes that were unintentionally intimate as I was helping bandage her finger that she accidentally cut badly. Sort of the “look at youuuuuuu being all caring and helpful”.
#26
I was hanging out with some of my guy friends and they all started kicking a ball around so I sat on the side near some cool flowers I wanted to draw, I wasn’t paying attention and at one point the ball started going towards me and one of the guys ran right in front of me like inches from me to stop it he then spent like 5 minutes checking if I was okay then gave me head pats. That wasn’t a normal thing for us but now it has become one. So yeah…
#27
Run their hands through my hair at the base of my neck
Image credits: unlitlanterns
#28
Literally asked me to pick her outfits for the weekend and modeled all morning in different outfits while telling me to pick some out. Didn’t leave the room to change.
#29
Came to drop off food and medicine while I was sick. I was absolutely not in the mood but I wish I was.
Image credits: chrisandfriends
#30
Weird one here, but it was a staring contest.
She claimed she was good at it and beat everyone before me to prove it. You play to win normally and I’m usually not one for staring, but I couldn’t look away from the big, beady hazel eyes she had. So even if she got closer to throw me off, it’s honestly what I wanted because she basically doubled how cute she already was in that moment.
Needless to say, I didn’t lose. She looked away to blink and then playfully nudged me in defeat while grinning. It was a done deal then—I developed a crush on her from that day onward.
#31
When we were young and had sleep overs… my female friend at the time and I would sleep in the same bed (I’m also female) and one night she like cuddled up to me and spooned me while was was sleeping… I don’t think she was aware at all.. but I was like ooo I like this very much…
#32
I was hugging this friend at school, they were sitting down and i wasn’t so their head was on my chest, at a certain point I was about to go and they said: “stay here, i can hear you’re heartbeat” it just gave me so much butterflies
#33
Tackled me. Not in a playful way either, she was trying her best to take me down (and generally succeeded). We were always just friends but in those moments after we’d hit the ground, I sometimes felt a little different about it.
Image credits: Buhpuh
#34
Called me sir. I didn’t even know this was a turn on.
#35
I was pretty good, if not best friends with someone I never thought I would be attracted to. We were at the bar one night and I was cold. He took his favorite jacket and put it over my shoulders and hugged me. I got a feeling for him I’ll never forget after that.
#36
Put her arm around me and leaned against me.
Yeah thats all
#37
I was invited to a new coworker’s birthday party. She was pretty buzzed by the time I arrived and ended up introducing me to all her friends as her hot boss.
#38
She showed me how the tattoo on the back of her upper thigh moves when she bends over. I was 19 and she was wearing short shorts…that was enough to make me blush.
#39
Not friend per se but work colleague. Leaned back in an office chair with his hands behind his head smirking a little.
Completely out of context in the situation but my mind equated it with the position some men adopt when they’re right about to get head. Took me right out of the meeting.
#40
She was talking about how she was into biting and I called her weird. She bit my forearm (no blood) right before class……. yeah that was a fun hour.
#41
Pulled my hair. I was doing something on the computer, and she suddenly pulled my hair. Weirdest feeling ever, but my acting skills was on point and nobody noticed a thing.
#42
Me and my female best friend got on the topic of massages, she jokingly said I should rub her feet, I said sure and gave her a massage, she then asked me to do her calves, hands and arms and she gave me a hand massage.
What turned me on was seeing her enjoy the massage.
This happened like 2 days ago and I have a big crush on her but can’t tell if she likes me or if she genuinely wanted to show me how to massage.
#43
She cut her hair in a way that was just so damn beautiful.
#44
Put his finger in my mouth. We’ve been married 8 years now.
#45
Played drums with a V-neck sweater on.
#46
My guy best friend just just hugged me out of nowhere, idk what happened to me but something
#47
One time at a party she was a bit tipsy and started to stroke my neck.
#48
Look deep into my soul after having an argument and saying “OK daddy”… was so confused and turned on at the same time
#49
We were at a party, I poured a shot, liquor spilled on my hand and it got sticky which I hate. She proceeded to lick my entire hand clean. Confused and horny.
Image credits: Rimaek
#50
She didn’t really do anything. I just randomly had a really nice dream with her. I had a crush on her since
#51
the way he shook my hand