Screens and the internet are everywhere these days, and most of us are spending way too much time with them. But it’s not just about reigning in our own habits. What also matters is raising our kids to have a healthy connection with technology. Sending your child, who’s just 11 months old, into daycare with a tablet might not be the brightest decision.
One mom, turned to Reddit for advice after her baby daughter accidentally broke another child’s tablet at the local daycare. Now, the other mom is demanding that the OP pay for a replacement. You’ll find the full story, as well as what the internet thought of the whole messy situation, as you read on. Bored Panda reached out to the mom and she was kind enough to answer our questions. However, she preferred to remain anonymous. Scroll down for our full interview.
Getting kids hooked on screens is not the best course of action. It’s also not recommended to give them expensive tech when they go to daycare
Image credits: sviatlankayanka (not the actual photo)
One mom shared what happened after her daughter broke another child’s tablet
Image credits: EMTguy32 (not the actual photo)
The mom clarified a couple of things later
The author opened up about how the other mom started yelling at her from the get-go
The author of the story opened up to Bored Panda that she was completely taken aback by what happened with the other mom. “I was angry and frustrated. I didn’t yell at her straight away even though she began the conversation by yelling at me, I felt sad for the baby as her parents gave her the iPad so she wouldn’t ask for her parents’ attention.”
According to the OP, she kept calm for most of the conversation. However, even the calmest people in the world can run out of patience sometimes. She called the other mom out: “I started yelling at her when she started explaining how important the iPad was for keeping her daughter quiet and entertained so she and her husband could do other things.”
We were curious how the mom handles screen time at home, with her 9-month-old twins. She told us that she and her husband are planning on not giving them screen time until they’re 2 years old. “We do let the TV play in the background occasionally but we don’t let them see the screen. I think it’s important to introduce screens as a fun activity, not something that’s rare because otherwise kids treat it like a drug and get mad when they are toddlers and can’t watch TV all day,” she shared her perspective on creating a healthy relationship with technology.
“Incorporating it into your daily routine and exploring alternatives with screens would help kids develop to enjoy but not need them,” the OP said that this way they can still play with their toys and make up fun games on their own.
She said that, from her perspective, giving kids up to 2 years old up to 10 minutes of screen time per day seems like a good limit. Meanwhile, 4-year-olds could get half an hour of screen time.
“My outlook on screens will probably change though as my twins grow. I do think that when a toddler or kid is sick, screen limits and rules should be relaxed to provide extra comfort when they’re going through such an unpleasant experience like the flu or a stomach bug.”
Kids spend massively more time in front of screens than recommended
The average person living on Planet Earth spends just shy of 7 hours (6 hours and 58 minutes to be precise) looking at screens every day. Meanwhile, the average American spends slightly longer, clocking in at 7 hours and 4 minutes every day, according to Zippia.
Experts typically recommend less than 2 hours of screen time per day. However, this can be quite a challenge if you work with a computer or require a phone to conduct business. It all comes down to how you navigate your screen time during your leisure hours.
According to OSF Healthcare, it’s recommended that children under the age of 2 have no screen time at all unless it’s used to video chat with family or friends. Meanwhile, kids between 2 and 5 years of age should only spend an hour or less using screens per day. It’s important that this time is supervised, either with a parent or sibling.
The real numbers are quite jaw-dropping, however. The CDC reports that kids aged 8 to 10 spend around 6 hours in front of screens every single day. That number rises to around 9 hours per day for 11 to 14-year-olds. And 15 to 18-year-olds spend roughly 7.5 hours in front of screens per day.
This is a huge issue because it means that these kids aren’t spending their time doing other things, like exercising, socializing, learning new skills, and focusing on healthier habits. The CDC suggests that kids get at least an hour of physical activity per day.
Today’s Parent notes that kids who are addicted to screens can show withdrawal symptoms, including changes in mood, irritability, headaches, anxiety, and difficulty sleeping.
Other parents shouldn’t be held responsible for genuine accidents at daycare
According to the author of the viral Reddit post, all parents have to sign waivers that the daycare isn’t responsible for any personal property damage. This makes sense. Though the daycare staff is responsible for taking care of the kids, they can’t track every tiny little thing that they do.
There are two main issues at play here. The first is that the other mom doesn’t seem to understand how babies do things. The second problem is giving a baby a tablet instead of some simple toys to keep them busy at the daycare.
Kids are going to accidentally break stuff. It’s a part of learning how to interact with the world. Toys and tech might get broken because babies can’t quite comprehend the value of items or what ‘broken’ even entails. Expecting them to be as polite and self-aware as adults would be ridiculous.
Here’s the simple truth: if you don’t want your super fancy gadgets to get broken, you shouldn’t give them to your baby. Especially in a more chaotic environment like a daycare. Even the most well-meaning children can end up damaging your property. It’s not some random baby’s fault that the tablet doesn’t work anymore.
The responsibility falls on the shoulders of the parents who brought the device into the building in the first place. It’s an expensive lesson, sure. But it’s a lesson nonetheless! Shifting blame isn’t a good look.
If your child is spending all of their time looking at a screen at daycare, they’re not socializing with others
The other issue is keeping your baby occupied with a screen at daycare. The point of a daycare is that your child has a place to play and learn while the parents are at work, studying, or running errands. A big part of the experience is interacting with other kids and learning about the world by interacting with a whole bunch of different toys.
Giving your child a tablet kind of defeats the whole purpose. They’re not really interacting with anyone while they’re watching YouTube videos. Instead, they’re learning to pass the time with the help of technology, instead of socializing like all the other babies.
Just to make it clear, nobody’s a ‘bad’ parent because they let their kids watch videos from time to time. However, what matters is the frequency. Constantly relying on screen time to keep your children busy might be cause for concern.
For one, it’s the ‘easy way out’ (who doesn’t enjoy watching entertaining, colorful clips, after all?). Moreover, the kids might slowly get addicted to screens and the internet. And that’s something that’s possibly going to haunt them every step of their way to adulthood.
Daycares can allow parents to be better parents
Meanwhile, Bored Panda was interested in the OP’s take on daycares. We wanted to know about the signs of a decent place. The author of the story shed some light on the question for us and explained how daycares can help parents be better parents. At first, she was worried that putting her children in daycare would be ‘abandoning’ them, which made her feel irrationally guilty.
“But the daycare can fulfill your kids better than you could think of, they are getting paid to do nothing other than play, teach, and look after your kids. They don’t have a house to run and chores to do at the same time.”
According to the mom, after starting daycare, your kids might have slightly less energy and be grumpier for the first few days. “Don’t worry, they aren’t mad at you for leaving them, they are simply adjusting to the new schedule and are tired from all the new activities they are doing, they will be back to normal in a few days,” she said.
“When you get to leave your kids for a few hours to fulfill your own needs, you become a better parent. I find it’s easier to deal with their needs when I’ve had my day to work and enjoy being an adult. The key to a good daycare is honesty. When something happens, you want them to tell you.”
The author noted that, in her experience, a daycare that can say ‘no’ to you is also a good one. It shows that the staff know what they’re doing.
“A daycare that can put its foot down and tell you that something in your schedule isn’t going to work or that you should try doing something differently is great. Parenting is all about adapting and learning how to best set your child up to succeed.”
The mom told Bored Panda that she’s found corporate daycares to be better. “They have more options and resources, also, they have more babies for your little ones to socialize with. Home daycares are fine, but if a home daycare attendant gets sick then all babies are sent home and you have to either take a day off work or find an alternative temporary care.”
On the flip side, ‘corporate’ style daycares can bring in substitutes and they’ll only close for serious issues, like storms or major snowfall. They’re more stable.
Some people had questions for the author. She answered them as best as she could
The internet had a lot of advice for the mom. Here’s what a few people told her
The post Woman Blames Mom For Raising A Violent Child After She Breaks Her Baby’s iPad, Demands She Pay first appeared on Bored Panda.