Our friends have a far bigger impact on our lives than many might think. A massive 85-year Harvard study found that positive relationships keep people happier, healthier, and help them live longer. So there are very practical benefits to maintaining deep, strong bonds with an active social circle. However, real friends are quite rare. And in some cases, it can be quite hard to determine who’s only pretending to be your BFF.
We’ve collected some of the most dramatic stories from these two r/AskReddit threads here and here showcasing what finally made people’s friendships fall apart. Scroll down to read about some of the signs of fake pals, and it might help you evaluate your own relationships.
One of the authors of the captivating discussions, redditor u/fusillihair, was kind enough to answer our questions. Check out Bored Panda’s interview with them about the most important qualities for a friend to have, as well as what to avoid, below!
#1
I was in a group of friends who started bullying a person I knew out of nowhere. I told them I was not okay with that. They soon started hanging out without inviting me. I am still very glad I did what I did.
Image credits: SqueakyToy7
#2
I was living with my best friend. Her boyfriend told me he wanted to show me what he bought her for Christmas and that he wanted my opinion. So he trapped me in the bathroom then attempted to shove his tongue down my throat.
I knee’d him in the balls. Told him I was going to tell her. Then I left to go see my boyfriend. I told my best friend later that night what happened. She believed her boyfriend over me.
End of friendship. Many years later, she tries to friend me on Facebook. Are you f*****g kidding me?! Get bent b***h!
Image credits: BubblyResident1855
#3
I lost 100 pounds. She didn’t, and “accused” me of deliberately changing. Well, yeah…
Image credits: BakeCrochetGym
According to Reddit user u/fusillihair, what made them create their discussion about friendships going awry on the r/AskReddit online community were real-life examples.
“I was inspired to ask the question after seeing a relative’s long-term ‘friendship’ break down. It made me curious about other people’s experiences,” the OP shared with us that they sought common ground with others, online.
What someone looks for in a great friend can vary a bit from person to person. We were curious what redditor u/fusillihair prioritizes in their own friendships.
“The things I value the most in a friendship is honesty,” they highlighted the importance of openness and transparency.
#4
After trying for a child for years and years I got pregnant with twins, one of them was in my right fallopian tube and I had to have an abortion to save my life.
Called her to tell her what happened and she informed me that she regretted supporting me through infertility if I was just going to kill the first baby I got pregnant with and that getting the abortion proved to her I never really wanted kids and she couldn’t be friends with someone who would kill their child without any questions asked.
I hung up and we haven’t spoken for 12 years. I missed her for the first year but not anymore, I just feel bad for her daughters knowing she will do the same thing to them if they are ever faced with that choice, I have heard from mutuals she bad talks me every chance she can and says it was my choice to throw away our friendship over my pregnancy knowing her views on abortion.
Image credits: AnnaVronsky
#5
She let her bf sexually assault me while I was heavily intoxicated, while she pretended to be asleep. She ‘wanted to see what he would do’, I was basically bait.
Image credits: ViciouslyJaded
#6
I came out as bisexual and she accused me of having a crush on her (i didn’t) but she said i made her feel uncomfortable.
Image credits: Specific_Shop_3975
“Friends should be able to trust what their friends are saying—without trust, there can be no friendship,” the redditor explained just how fundamentally essential trust is between real friends.
“Friends being honest shows they value their relationship with you,” they pointed out that this sort of mutual respect shows a proper investment in the relationship.
Meanwhile, Bored Panda wanted to get redditor u/fusillihair’s take on some of the signs that someone may not have one’s best interests at heart and that it might be time to rethink the ‘friendship.’
“The biggest red flag I’ve noticed in friendships is when someone constantly takes advantage of you,” the OP shared with us.
“It’s because they’re not scared of losing you and you become a means to an end.”
#7
He tried to sleep with my wife. Knew him for 30+ yrs when he tried to sleep with my wife.
Image credits: refugee1971
#8
When I stopped people pleasing and set boundries.
Image credits: coconutrush90
#9
I got sober.
Real friendships, at their very core, are about mutual respect, trust, and empathy. One-sided relationships based on exploitation and manipulation won’t last and can’t really be considered ‘friendships’ in the first place. But the reality is that sometimes folks simply can’t tell whether what they’ve got is the real deal or just a facade until it’s too late.
Fake friends who are in the relationship purely for their benefit will always take more than they give and won’t give a damn about your boundaries. They don’t understand the importance of reciprocity and will milk you for favors and money and emotional support. But when you ask them for the same things, they’ll always find a convenient excuse about how they’re incredibly sorry but they simply can’t help you. And how they’ll totally make it up to you next time… only to come up with another excuse then.
#10
When I realized the friendship was toxic. Whenever I would hang out with her, I would feel drained. I became her therapist.
Image credits: twhalenpayne
#11
Pathological liar. Told me he was dying. I was so distraught. Complete utter wreck. Nope. Not dying. Healthy af. He’s still alive now 20 years later. Must be the miracle medical intervention he didn’t need and didn’t get.
Image credits: KimchiAndLemonTree
#12
She found Jesus, then lost her mind. In that order.
Image credits: shaylahbaylaboo
Not only that but fake friends are also often incorrigible gossips. A rule of thumb is that if someone’s spilling the tea about all of their social connections to you, they’re very likely to be blabbing all about you to their other buddies. Of course, gossip is a natural part of being a human being. But there are limits.
If someone asks you to keep a secret but you end up telling someone else, you’re effectively damaging your friendship. Everyone slips up from time to time, but it’s the bigger picture that matters here. Someone who isn’t able to keep private things private probably doesn’t deserve your trust in the future and likely doesn’t respect you enough. And you can’t have a genuine friendship without a firm foundation of trust and respect.
#13
Ah, it was very simple. He was a MAGA supporter and we often talked politics and such. But that wasn’t the cause for ending our friendship. I’m quite tolerant and I know how to separate people from their political beliefs. But come the pandemic, he starts promoting anti-vaccine stuff in his facebook. I lost both my in-laws to COVID and he knew that. I tried to convince him to get vaccinated out of concern for him, appealing to reason and empathy. He called me a shill for the pharmaceutical companies, a murderer and a co-conspirator for genocide.
So, that was the tipping point. I blocked him from all my social networks without any explanation. He can go get lost for all that I care nowadays.
Image credits: Impressice-Ad6400
#14
She slept with my then boyfriend. The most boring tragedy of my life.
Image credits: Particular-Natural12
#15
They became homophobic, started misgendering our trans friend on purpose, and was overall very hateful and homophobic for no reason.
Image credits: LongLiveGermans
The same goes for promises. We all probably have at least one person somewhere in our social circle who constantly overpromises and underdelivers. Someone who’s constantly offering to help or to meet up, only to cancel the plans at the last possible minute, isn’t someone who can be trusted. Good friends offer us stability and stay true to their word. Poor friends only care about their own pleasure and don’t give a damn about others’ time and feelings.
Finally, an absolutely wonderful way to know for a fact whether someone values your friendship is to see how they behave when life serves a bunch of ups and downs to you at high speed. A great friend will weather any storm by your side, shoulder to shoulder, and will celebrate your successes.
#16
After more than 20 years of being besties, she just ghosted me. After a year of not hearing from her, despite reaching out, I asked her husband if she was okay. He was confused because she claimed to be talking to me all the time. Whatever. It hurt for a while, but she honestly brought very little to my life in hindsight.
Image credits: CunnyMaggots
#17
I had 3 friends from high school, met up with them again in our late 20s. One was doing well financially, married a well off dude and had 3 kids. She looked down her nose at the rest of us, would insult us, constantly talk about how much money she had and would start arguments in the group chat.
She even told me that the way I dress, I will never get a husband. When I started dating my now fiancé, he’d get sh*tty with me for continuing to talk to her because she’d make me cry. She told me that because I had no kids and wasn’t married, I was immature. I tried to explain to her how her behaviour affected me/the group, but she never changed. I cut her off a few times, but the other girls would guilt me back in.
One day, I was just over it. I blocked all three of them and iced them out. They tried contacting my mother, my partner, calling me from different numbers but I blanked them. The main bitch even messaged me and said “You’re dead to me!”
Guess what, c*nt, you were already dead to me.
Image credits: LandoCatrissian_
#18
She was toxic and abusive to me for years but I made excuses every time. The last straw was when she was incredibly cruel to one of my other best friends who was actively dying of cancer and then painted herself as the injured party. I put up with being treated like s**t for 20 years, but to treat a dying woman like that? I was immediately done.
Image credits: Extreme-Onion6731
So-called fair-weather friends, on the other hand, will only want to be a part of your life when everything’s sunshine and rainbows. The moment things get tough, they’ll be nowhere to be found… only to pop back up again when you sort your problems out yourself.
It’s also worth noting here that folks who are jealous of you and try to put you down when you achieve some sort of success may not be worth spending much time around. And if you feel utterly drained, irritated, and upset after meeting up with someone, it may be worthwhile focusing on some of your other—healthier—relationships.
#19
She got married and cut all contact with me.
20 year friendship tossed aside like a used napkin.
Image credits: generic_witch
#20
He cheated on his wife and left her and their two kids.
Image credits: K-Dog7469
#21
She was unvaccinated and refused to take a covid test before seeing me. My mother was terminally ill and severely immuno-compromised, so I was absolutely trying to minimise the risk of getting covid so I could still see my Mum.
She refused to take a test, twice, despite kind and calm requests and explanations, on the basis that she “didn’t want to get a sinus infection.” (This was in the time of nasal swabs, not mouth swabs, for covid tests. You know, those nasal swabs that are sterile and can’t cause infection.)
I’m 100% sure that it wasn’t about a sinus infection. It was about control. She had been annoyed because I hadn’t validated her anti-vax stance in the past.
Similarly, I know she wanted more validation for her religious views, which she’d acquired in her 30s and which I didn’t share. I’d told her that I was happy her faith made her happy, but I think she wanted me to truly share her beliefs. I’d also said that her sister’s bisexuality was “fine with me” when she’d stated that a wedding of 2 women was “not what God wants.”
I think all of those different views just threatened the way she saw the world, and how she saw herself.
Her last texts thanked me for “sharing my views” re covid and it’s potential to kill my Mum, then became pseudo-concerned when I didn’t reply. I read the whole situation as “I want to say whatever I want to you, but I want to still feel like a nice person, so please reply and give me that validation.”
I didn’t reply to her, but I still ask myself whether the mature thing to do would have been to clearly reply and state that I didn’t want to stay in contact. It’s taken me until now (over a year later) to see through the pain and formulate what I might have said.
We’d been friends since the first days of high school. 20+ years. In essence we just aquired very different views from each other as adults, but I can’t pretend her attitude towards my Mum, and towards the horrible journey my family had to take, wasn’t devastating.
Life is a bloody painful journey at times, that’s for sure.
#22
She snuck around for a whole summer keeping the secret that she was f*****g and had a relationship with my dying father. she was of age but he was in his last months of life, not in his right mind. hard to look past, she still reaches out every now in then trying to reconnect but it’s just too damn weird.
Image credits: mmolliemae
#23
She promised me that she would pay me back if I bought the tickets for a girls trip that she was desperate to go on. We had everything planned. I did all the work of looking and researching because that’s enjoyable to me and she hates it. She has 3 kids and they’re all smaller than mine – so I told her that I didn’t mind the planning as long as when it was done we would just go and enjoy ourselves since it had been 2 years since COVID.
I bought the tickets and wanted to use my new Amex plat for the hotel bonus points. Keep in mind she makes more money than me – 250K per year and her husband makes $150K. So money was not the issue. Multiple times we discussed the trip, her going on the trip, and that our husbands would hang out with the kids together while we were gone for 5 days over a long weekend + Monday & Tuesday.
When it was time to pay me back she went dark. Refused to answer my texts. Ghosted me for weeks. Mind you, I’ve known her for 4+ years and she was always kinda flakey when it came to texting. So her flakiness was not entirely new- but this is not the way you treat people period.
I finally sent a Venmo request for the portion of the trip that was hers along with the message “please pay me back for your portion of the trip since you will not respond to text messages or calls.”
She then proceeded to gaslight me and tried to tell me via text that she never agreed to go and that I was just misremembering (KIM, our husbands had a weekend planned out with the kids for when we were going to be away, so obviously, I wasn’t “making this up”.)
After that I sent her a farewell and f**k you message and didn’t look back.
I took my other best friend on the trip instead. She couldn’t pay me for half – but she paid for the meals and taxis instead. It was super nice and I’m glad this c**t is out of my life.
#24
My best friend for close to 15 years blocked me. When I got in touch with him I asked what was going on, and he said he was just purging his friends list. Said it was a mistake and unblocked me.
Well I happened to be dealing with the loss of my father (who basically adopted him) and was struggling with alcohol abuse. I reached out to him just seeking a friend cause I was in such a low spot, then he blocked me again.
I totally get cutting off friends who are alcoholics or toxic. But the only time I ever asked him for anything was “Hey man, not sure if you heard but my dad died. I’ve been drinking too much and could use a friend to talk to.”
And he blocked me for that.
Image credits: ASemiAquaticBird
#25
I had a mate that went through some tough times with his partner. I supported him with late-night chats, gave him a place to stay, and even kept my mouth shut when he cheated on her. Fast-forward a couple of years, I ended up going through some tough times myself and was on the verge of bankruptcy. He didn’t give a s**t. Whenever we spoke, conversations always pivoted to how well he was doing and how much money he was making. I always got the impression that he was glad I was struggling.
Fast-forward another couple of years, and things have turned around for me. I’m doing well, have a new job, and was able to move to a great location outside of the UK. He came to visit once and spent the whole time slagging off where I lived, how s**t my job was compared to his, and even dropped a couple of hints that he didn’t like my girlfriend (who’s now my wife). He went back home, and I never contacted him again. Apparently, he posted something snarky on Facebook about not being invited to ‘his best mate’s wedding,’ but I’m not on Facebook, so don’t care.
Image credits: Daddicool69
#26
He became addicted to [drugs] after his father died. It warped his personality, and he was constantly angry and bitter. He was unpredictable, and genuinely scared me because it felt that it would be very easy for him to do something that would ruin his life in an instant. Also refused any help offered. The only thing I could do was move on.
Image credits: wheresmychin
#27
Knew him since elementary school. Always abrasive but, that was just him. He went to Europe to go to college and met some really snooty Europeans and came back a horrible person. Like he used to talk nonstop about debt and how he wanted to start a business and only hire people with debt so that he could mistreat them and they couldn’t afford to quit. Not joking.
So I tried my best to get him to come around, but he was so rude to grocery store clerks, etc. that it was almost a story that sounded made up for internet rage bait.
I was straight out of college at the time, and I accepted a night shift job. I compromised my sleep and I’ll tell you, the job did not pay well. And he kept pressing me and pressing me to ask me how much I made. I finally gave in, and he lorded it over me.
So one night before I punched in for the night shift, we went for coffee and he casually said something like, “Yeah, anybody who gets out of bed for less than six figures is a sucker,” knowing full well what I made.
After about 20 years of friendship, I said I have to go, said goodbye, walked to my car and got in. I turned the ignition and as the car was starting I said, this friendship is over. And I never, ever looked back.
And another friend guilt tripped me about it, said it was awkward that we’re not all friends anymore. This bad “friend” walked into another friend’s butcher shop, used his friendship with another buddy working there, to run up a tab of several thousand dollars and then never paid.
“Oh sorry that’s business,” was his reply.
I’ll tell you, since cutting him out of my life I live much, much, much happier. Had I never stopped being friends with him, I would have never grown so much as a person.
Image credits: lazarus870
#28
Over 10 years of friendship. We travelled together, worked together, he was the best man at my wedding. We were best friends, the kind of friend you could call any time of day or night and he’d be there to help. I was there for him through difficult times and vice versa. Then he met his now wife…
Suddenly any gatherings at my house they couldn’t attend because she was always sick from “something she ate”…
She was from a wealthy family, the kind that literally owns a small island, and lived in an affluent neighbourhood. It’s not like I was poor or lived in a bad neighbourhood but by comparison, I’m sure the very thought of her being in my part of town made her sick.
Anyway, I moved overseas, received a save the date for their wedding but the invitation never showed up. He reached out asking if I was coming and was shocked I hadn’t got the invitation as he wanted me there but it was too late to make arrangements and a long way to travel.
I received an email from him while he was on his honeymoon telling me how jealous he was of me and my career and new life overseas.
I travelled back to see family and friends a little while later and tried to make arrangements to see him but he was “too busy”… I was literally in the same building as him visiting old colleagues.
I’m convinced his wife is the reason my invitation got lost in the mail and that it all came out on the honeymoon and now he can’t look me in the face.
#29
I was in a horrific auto accident, coma for a week, ICU for a month. The person who was my closest friend never came to see me, when I finally got home, wheelchair bound, when he came over his first question was what kind of drugs did they give me. It was supposed to be a joke but I told him that we’re done being friends and not to come back to my house ever again. That was 17 years ago.
It was very difficult for me to sit there and tell the person that I no longer wanted to be friends and to leave and never come back. I was lucky to have support of close family which help ease the pain of losing a friend. I had a bunch of acquaintances that disappeared after my accident and during my recovery so I took the position of good riddance.
Image credits: Tenchi2020
#30
I found out through one of their friends she thought wouldn’t share. She had slept with my past 3 boyfriends and I was in the same house sleeping one of those times.
Image credits: Dewdlebawb
#31
One of my best friends in high school; he knew I had a massive crush on a girl. He was well aware that I was a bit awkward and not very confident, so he offered to help me out. He invited the young lady in question and me to hang out at his place, to get us in the same place and give me a shot.
Then he had sex with her while I was in the next room. I realized what was happening, and just sat there, unsure how to process what was going on. At some point I left. We never really discussed it.
The friendship puttered along for a short while longer, withering away after that. That event, along with a few other earlier experiences made it so I’ve never been quite able to trust other guys and form friendships with them as anything more than acquaintances.
To this day (I’m 38) I don’t have a single close male friend. One of the few things I dislike about myself.
#32
Me: Rocker chick outcast with purple hair and chain jewelry.
Her: Popular, beautiful, perfect soccer star jock with a new Jeep Wrangler.
We sat next to each other in geometry in 10th grade.
We started with giggling together at a fellow classmate teasing our odd teacher.
I lived far from campus. So one day, I meekly asked her for a ride home in said Jeep in exchange for the day’s homework answers.
We are almost 40 now. She moved to a new city. We became—and stayed—best friends. Real Fox and the Hound situation. I visited her at least annually in her new city. She has a guest room she called “IAlreadyOrderedPizzas’s room.” We’d stay up all night laying in it and talking.
She got into a bad relationship. Not sure if it was that, or her untreated depression, or her slow descent into alcoholism, or a combination. But I quickly became her punching bag when she was having a bad day. Everything from “I was always better than you” to “Well at least I’m not stuck in our home city.”
I recently had to cut her off. It is still the hardest and most painful thing I have ever done.
Yesterday was her birthday.
Happy birthday. I miss you and I love you.
#33
Not being invited to her wedding after being close friends for nearly four years. The other two people in our friend group were bridesmaids.
Image credits: shark-giraffe
#34
Had a “best friend” who always expected everyone to cover for her whenever we go out to eat and would always whine about being “broke.” This one time I had a peak of her looking at her bank account and she had more than enough money to cover for herself. She just didn’t wanna spend any of her money.
Image credits: minombrevanillamamba
#35
I’m not completely sure. Our mothers have been besties since elementary school, and they had us a month apart; while we were night and day, personality-wise, and probably should have been the complete opposite, we were besties, too, closer than sisters, from birth until we were 25. She had gotten married a few years before, moved a couple hours away and had her first baby, so naturally, our dynamic had shifted some, but I was still under the impression that we were as close as ever the night she called and told me that her life had changed, she no longer had time or energy for a friendship like ours, and that she pretty much just didn’t want me in her life, anymore. There was no falling out, we hadn’t had a fight since we were teenagers, there was nothing that I could pinpoint (then or now) that led to her decision, but it broke my heart and I grieved the loss for years after.
#36
She turned out to be super f*****g racist. I just had no idea because she’d never had the opportunity to show it until she moved to a city with brown people. I was horrified and I honestly have no idea who or where she is anymore and I do not care at all.
#37
We booked a group holiday before we all went to University. She picked the place, picked our rooms, who was sharing with who, she planned the whole itinerary, she *told* one of the other girls in the group she was driving the 3+ hours drive as well, didn’t ask, just told her to do it.
She then ditched us every night to talk on the phone with her boyfriend for 2 hours, then go to sleep without telling anyone and was generally a controlling, moody b***h the entire trip.
But the reeeaaal stinker: 2nd to last day she suddenly says work has cancelled her next 2 days of holiday and she has to go in. We all knew she was lying. Next thing she says is she can no longer take any of us back home. The other friend who drove there wasn’t going home when we were leaving, she was driving onwards to see family elsewhere. B***h friend said best she could do was drop rest of us at a train station. Reminder we were 3+ hours *drive* away from home, which translated to 6+ hour train journey with multiple changes.
Ends up with b***h friend leaving 6am the next morning, without a word, and my other friend had to reschedule her plans to drive the rest of us 2 hours in the wrong direction to meet my poor mum, who drove 2 hours to meet us halfway at a service station on a random motorway.
None of us have seen or spoken to her in over 10 years, since she left that morning.
#38
Pre-paid cellphone plan. It’s 18 years ago at this point, but my then best friend pocket dialed me, while my phone was laying on the desk in the classroom. I was in a different part of the school working on a project. Some of the guys in class answered the phone but didn’t or forgot to hang up when they realized no one was on the other end. The call ended up lasting long enough that his rough 25 dollars on the phone plan was used up. He ended up calling me the day after, calling me all names under the sun and where I could go to f**k myself. I had no f*****g idea what he was on about, and when he explained that his phone plan had been emptied I offered to just pay it back. Got told to f**k off. Never talked to him since. I even met him at a train station a few years later, smiled and waived at him. He literally turned around and walked away, waiting for the next train instead of taking the same train as me. I guess our friendship was only worth 25 dollars to him.
#39
She was an insufferable narcissist and I was too young to understand
Image credits: Charlottewhit
#40
She told me she had cancer and her parents were abusing her. Found out everything was a lie.
#41
She cheated on her boyfriend (a very close friend of mine too), broke up with him on his birthday (after he gave her lots of beautiful presents for her graduation), and started a relationship with the lover.
Then, she cheated also on this other guy, and started a relationship with the lover, her current boyfriend (until the next one, I suppose!)
She “asked” me for some advice, in both situations I told her to break up first with the boyfriend and then try to think about it with a little bit of emotional distance, but nevermind she decided to follow her “instinct”.
I decided to follow my integrity, I couldn’t stand anymore a friend like her in my life. I just felt very disappointed.
That happened in the last 5 years, we are in our late 20s.
EDIT: now that I opened my memory closet, I remember another red flag of her.
During the early days of Instagram, her profile was plenty of my photos, made by me with my camera, that I only uploaded on Facebook because I wasn’t using Instagram. When I created my profile on IG, I discovered it. I confronted her and she told me that she wanted to “impress” people and said “look at the bright side, they have lots of likes!”
EDIT 2: another resurfaced memory!
One of the last times we hung out together, she bragged about her money and her job, clearly in order to make me jealous. Not an elegant move.
#42
My best friend (well used to be best friend)…we met when we were both 7. She had just moved to my town and from that very first day…we were inseparable.
Fast forward 35 yrs later. My oldest son passed away and after his funeral, she and I spoke maybe a handful of times on the phone and then after that…nothing.
That was a little over 6 yrs ago and if I had to say, or give a reason as to why we don’t speak to one another anymore…I guess I’d say it goes back to my son’s death. She stopped calling me. A lot of people distanced themselves from me. At first I just wrote it off to people not knowing what to say to me or not knowing how to be around me during the initial grief, but as weeks turned into months….turned into years, I really struggled with loneliness and just wanting our friendship back. I’m sure (and most that grieve the loss of a child can relate) it wasn’t just her avoiding a friendship with me but I probably distanced myself quite a bit as well.
It hurts not having that one friend that you used to call and tell everything to and I’m sure the day will come when we may run into each other. But until then…I just miss the old times I guess.
#43
When I realized he and his wife prioritized their failing polycule over their kids’ happiness. The moment you neglect your kids around me, it’s over.
#44
She was facing a lot of professional, personal, and financial difficulties due to some really poor decision making on her end. I was thriving, and she was never happy for my success. When I finally got a job promotion I’d worked really hard for, her reaction was one of anger and jealousy, and I decided I no longer needed that energy in my life anymore.
Friends should always celebrate each others victories.
#45
They would use me as a vent and treat me very horribly like completely ignore me for a whole day resulting in me thinking what I did wrong then magically talk to me the very next day as if that never happened and when I would question her she would say ” sorry I was in a bad mood” . This happened a couple of times she used to publicly ignore me when I initiated convo then proceeded to make a ‘ You’re so annoying face’ , isolate me.
I was fine with it , I thought that she might be having a rough time and had no where to vent. My final string broke when she suddenly ignored me again and talked very rudely when I asked her something, the very next second I saw her laughing happily with ‘my friends’ and rolled her eyes when she saw me.
I stopped talking to her from the next day and my friends all together it was no surprise that none of them ever came to apologize for treating me that way let alone reconcile with me . Although I was disappointed that our friendship only amounted this much to them.
I lost my friends but realized my own worth the hard way, got stepped on and humiliated, it was probably because she saw me as a very convenient person , I was sad but I never regretted cutting them off. Good riddance.
#46
Probably when she was jealous that my boyfriend picked me over her (they had never even spoke she saw him once and said he was hot) and then went around to all of our mutual friends calling me a man stealing wh*re. So yeah we were done at that point. Anyway I ended up marrying the guy and sent her a save the date but no invite.
Image credits: karotcake
#47
I was going through a divorce and my father died. Decided partying and alcohol was my new coping mechanism. They went along for a bit. I moved to another country to get rehab and they moved off to Washington and got married. I got right but I never heard from them again and they have a child now.
I miss them still, near daily, 10 years later. Was my best bud. I was a s****y friend.
#48
Just got tired of being ignored when I would try to make plans to get together or hangout. I’m not going to beg someone to be my friend. Friends for over 15 years and now haven’t spoken to each other in over 3 years.
#49
When she forgot my birthday. I know it’s silly but her actions spoke volumes. I was there for her when she gave birth to both her kids, supported her. I was her bank and when I lost my job and had to supplement my income doing IC, she didn’t HEAR me when hi said I couldn’t fund her pockets whenever she needed help. 11 years of friendship down the drain. Completely cut her out my life.
#50
Had a friend who fell into the world of “social media micro influencer” and it’s completely destroyed her life. She is now a shell of the person she once was; nothing about her actions are genuine and she only ever participates in activities if they can bring her attention/clout or views. The sad part is, she knows she has no more friends (I’ve heard that she gets drunk and cries about it to anyone who will listen) but can’t understand that she’s responsible for pushing them all away by reducing them to props and background noise for her tiktoks. She thinks Covid destroyed all her friendships but it was actually just her own, selfish behavior. We’re all in our mid to upper 30’s so she’s too old to be acting like this in the first place and it’s just really pathetic watching her try to keep up with people half her age by recycling their content.
#51
As a teen I had extremely low self esteem and didn’t care if people were mean to me as long as they called me friend. I spent like 8 years hanging out with this guy who would constantly belittle me in front of people to make himself seem “better”. One day he introduced me to a group of friends that kinda liked him but he still wasn’t technically apart of their group. They all saw how he treated me and the moment my friend was out of ear shot, they all took turns telling me I don’t deserve to be treated that way and that they thought I was super cool and that I should not hang out with him. After that day I stopped hanging out with and talking to him.
#52
My “best friend” asked me to be her maid of honour. I was planning her wedding, speaking to vendors and etc. On the day of her wedding, she never spoke to me at all or acknowledged my efforts even though I was fixing her makeup and coordinating with her vendors and organising things like bring her family/friends to the right seats etc. I could see from the corner of my eye that she was having fun with her other bridesmaids. I was ok with it and was actually happy that she was happy and I had a part to play in that. Towards the end of the wedding night, she did not thank me for the day and actually told me that I could have done better with the music and other stuff. I was so tired and just left after everything was settled. Then I realised this was how it was through our years as “best friends”, that I was always there but she was always too busy for me. She tried to reach out a few times after the wedding by saying she was sorry about what she said and she was truly appreciative. I never replied.
#53
They started making rude an inappropriate comments, made it into a me problem by calling me too sensitive. The whole thing just got exhausting really. I was always the one that was there for her, but it was rarely returned.
It’s funny though, how someone who prides themself on their own self awareness can’t figure out that when they have conflict with their boss, coworkers, most of their friends, most of their family, that they might be contributing to the problem?
#54
Kind of just snapped into place that she was a terrible person one day.
We went out for coffee and she screamed at the barista for messing up the drink she ordered off the “secret” Starbucks menu. She was all excited because she’d slept with my best friends roommates boyfriend. Was furious over me “choosing sides” because we (me, my best friend, and her roommate) went out to a bar without her.
#55
Never was a great friend, bit fun to hang out with. Then he got a toxic girlfriend. We were roommates for awhile and living with her was hell. They decided to get their own place, and I came to realize how miserable I was living with them. Getting away from it showed me how bad it was. So I made a decision, I didn’t want anything to do with his girlfriend. Unfortunately since they were dating, cutting her out meant cutting him out.
I’ve moved on, met new people and things are starting to pick up.
#56
When I was 24 I discovered a good friend of mine had been having sex with minors for the past 3 years. I’m now 35, moved away, and the last I heard he was in prison for heroin possession, theft, arson, and 2 counts of felonious assault with a deadly weapon.
#57
When he had everything going well for him in life and bought cool sh*t while I was living poorly, he’d rub it in my face. When I started being successful and finally made something for myself, he couldn’t stand it.
#58
Hey boyfriend sent me a d**k pic. She knows and is still with him.
#59
After high school ended, he became too busy. I invited him over every weekend, each time he said that he come, but didn’t show up. After a year of him not coming, I stopped inviting him.
#60
Would “bust my balls” in front of attractive women to make himself look better. I was always confused because there was 0% chance of competition. There’s a point where it gets old and you never look back.
#61
My best friend was cheating on her boyfriend (who was also my friend). I told her she had to stop, tell him, or break up with him. She continued to cheat. One day he asked me if she was seeing someone else, and I couldn’t lie. Years after that we hung out a few times, but obviously it was never the same. Don’t remember that last time we spoke now.
#62
She was mad at me for something then proceeded to ask her Twitter followers to stalk, harass and send me death threats. Then got mad when I told her she’s a horrible person and didn’t know why I called her that.
#63
I had a friend–Blindsey–and we played a lot of league of legends and other videogames with each other for a number of years and grown quite close after meeting on IMVU.
I got into a relationship and disappeared but we kept some talking going sometimes. She got married later which was wonderful, very nice guy.
Well one Thanksgiving I sent her a message saying, “Happy Thanksgiving, love you” and her husband saw this and threw a fit. They slept separately for a week and it ruined the thanksgiving that year. She blocked me everywhere but not before telling me what had happened and why she has to do this.
I understand but I’m hurt. There was never a romantic relationship between us and saying, “I love you” was kind of a normal platonic thing between us. Oh well. I appreciate the time we had before and I love those memories. I miss my friend but we’ve probably changed so much since that we couldn’t be friends today. Miss you Blindsey, hope you’re well.
#64
We’d been best friends for 40+ years. I was always the one to run to rescue/help her, even when her husband was holding her and the damn baby at gunpoint.
But she was also very critical and a bit of a snob, like her mom. She would tell me to throw out my shirt because it was too worn out, get a pedicure because my feet look like c**p, wear a different lipstick because the color looked horrible on me, etc.
So one day I just decided that I needed to talk to her about how she treats me, and asked her to meet me at a restaurant near her house. I was SO NERVOUS and upset that I was already crying before I got to the restaurant.
I explained that she really needs to keep her opinions to herself, be more subtle with her comments (offer to pay for pedicures for both of us), or ask if she could give me advice on something, anything was better than what she had been doing.
We left the restaurant after she apologized, gave me a hug, and we went put separate ways. She called me a couple days later and said I was “too negative”, never heard from her again.
#65
She was living with our other mutual friend and that friend’s long- term significant other (I’m talking like seven or eight years together). They were both unemployed and she would buy them food, weed and was taking care of all the household bills. Turns out they were sleeping together for at least year during this time. I just couldn’t after that. There were things she’d done to me personally as well but this was my final straw.
Image credits: Greenbean_dreams
#66
This just happened to me this week. I realized she only wanted me around to have someone to complain to and go places with her because she hates being alone. We had been friends nearly 3 years but the friendship started to sour back in January when she got back with her alcoholic cheating husband. Slowly I started to realize she didn’t care about my interests or how I was doing and that we only ever did things she wanted to do. In fact, a lot of things I like she said she didn’t understand and they were dumb to her (fair enough I guess?). My last straw though was her telling me that being called dramatic is bad for her mental health. I called her dramatic because she was being dramatic over a lice situation at work (we work in healthcare, it’s not uncommon to get an outbreak of lice every once in a while). Our boss told her if she was going to freak out every time she’s definitely not in the right profession. She ended up quitting the very next morning through text.
Well, I had decided to quietly go no contact with her and removed her from all socials. Two days later she realizes this and starts spreading rumors to my coworkers that I was planning to quit with her and that I blocked her on everything. I’m just done with her. If she can talk sh*t behind my back that easily over me just not talking to her, what else has she said about me? That is not the kind of friendship I want.
Sorry for the long rant.
#67
One of my friends from high school went full on “traditional Christian” as in thinking women should stay in their lane and let men run things. Started acting better than a number of us in our friend group, like he’d been enlightened after reading the Bible for a few weeks and discovering the truth, while trying to convert others into his new line of thinking.
I had grown up with a narcissistic super religious father and had already decided to cut ties with him, so I was fully aware of the type and where he’d be heading. Tried to reason with him about it but he got pulled in too hard and had to let him go.
#68
She gave me shit for wanting to go back to school to complete my degree. She was lonely and she wanted me to move to her small town and rent the other half of the duplex she and her husband owned.
#69
My friend let me know they had a major grudge about a small incident that occurred *years* earlier, which they never mentioned to me before.
Then they told me that they didn’t like my partner, or the fact that they exist. It was worded very aggressively.
It was just bizarre. I told them I was sorry and that I didn’t want to know them anymore.
#70
Him saying “what have you done for me?” in an unprompted call-out. He was holding food I bought him, with a bag with drawings i made for him. The friendship was completely one sided.
Watch out for all-take-no-give people, guys.
#71
When they “Forgot” to meet up with you for the third time even though you planned those meet ups days in advance.
#72
I had too many dives into depression and all that comes with them for my bff to handle any longer, and this was all before we hit 35. My life is awesome now: great career, good relationships, contentment. But I sure wish he was still here to share it all with him. Our mutual friends never seem to know where he is or how he is doing, and I don’t know if that is manufactured or authentic. I sure hope wherever he is that he is living it up because he was a once in a lifetime dude.
#73
I took my computer out of storage and needed to access some files on it. Took it to my “friend’s” flat in London. I couldn’t move it right away so he said I could leave it there for one week. Couldn’t get back to London in time so he put it out on the street out of spite. Best mate for 30 years until last year. Why would anyone do something like that you might wonder? He told me that would happen if I didn’t pick it up. So it was “my choice”. Full on high spec machine put out for trash.
#74
The hardest part when a longtime friend stops talking to you entirely is when you don’t know why.
You assume that it may be that a mutual friend said something about you that isn’t true but you’ll live the rest of your life not ever knowing why.
#75
We just grew apart. I think I reached out to her once to ask how she was doing and didn’t really get a response, so I just kind of decided that was that.
#76
She started seeing my very recent ex while I was still very upset about the breakup, she lied to me about it (“we’re just friends”) and then refused to talk to me about it when they were clearly and openly not just friends. I spoke with him (the ex) about it and he apologized for the way things happened.
She didn’t and still hasn’t, years later. Good riddance.
#77
I was friends with this girl in college. One semester we, my friend group, decide to be in a group for a semester long assignment. There were multiple parts to the assignment, one was going on a class trip, each person taking a section of a paper, and then the last was a display of some sort.
On the day we were compiling the display for class, this girl says she had a doctors appointment but she would hurry back. That would be fine because everyone didn’t get out of classes to meet up until a certain time. She didn’t show up because she went out on a date and then got her car washed. Which she posted on snapchat.
She showed up 20 minutes before the class started and our other friend who had been helping us, WHO DIDNT EVEN TAKE THE CLASS, had to give her the what-for because we were all so furious.
It was after that that I had looked back and realized it wasn’t the first project she jeopardized, and she did some other shady shit like put another friend in a dangerous situation.
After that I cut her out of my life completely.
#78
Had a friend who was a liar and wanted to be me. One day she even copied and pasted my face onto a pic of herself. Anytime I had something going on, she miraculously had the exact same thing going on as well.
#79
Best buddies with a guy. Had some of the best times of my life with him. Went to a party we met this chick they started dating. As soon as we moved from our apartment we never talked again.
They are married now
Use to really be pissed about this but it happens all the time. Sucks cause we were so tight
#80
She was abusive, mean spirited, and just all around terrible to me. She turned our friend group against me and spread rumors about me. She would put me down in front of other people. She was jealous when I hung out with others. Etc etc. We lived together during my junior year of college. After I moved out we never spoke again.
#81
He became a gaslighting narcissist who attempted to use me any way possible for his own personal gain on the pettiest levels imaginable. It reached a point I would instantly become in a bad mood when he came around, because I had to put my defenses up, or else he would walk all over me. Just to make himself feel superior, for whatever reason. He wasn’t always like that, but grew that way over time. He would even somehow find a way to make my friends, my joy, and my achievements, HIS. Like, it’s honestly amazing someone is capable of that level of manipulation, it’s actually impressive.
#82
Seeing my old friend group constantly post photos to social media of them out doing things and having fun while I’m sitting at home
I brushed it off at first. But after I made it clear when I was off a few times and still got no invites I just stopped contacting them
#83
She ruined my 21 birthday, before that she would only come to me for advice or a shoulder to cry on but when i needed it she would redirect the conversation right back to herself and so much more that she would do but the last straw was my birthday.
I went all the way to her city bc she lives in the big city and we would celebrate my birthday. so i was gonna stay for two days, we were supposed to go to a restaurant but she had invited some of her own friends to join us. but we never went to a restaurant now did we? no ofc not. she took me to a fkn club. i don’t drink, i told her specifically that i didn’t wanna drink and when i realized it was a club i was so mad that i told her i didn’t want to be there and her other friends would jump in and make me uncomfortable to even have that conversation with her so i just shut up. the next day i told her that was fkdup and she apologized.
She did the same thing that night. i went to her apartment by myself and left her at the club. i am really uncomfortable at clubs i just don’t enjoy it. she knew that. but did this anyway.
It was long overdue to end the friendship, she had been such a negative and toxic impact on my life anyway for years. we haven’t been friends for a year and it only took me a week to feel such a relief and the weights on my shoulders just went away. i didn’t realize how badly she was affecting my own mental health that it felt like paradise only a week after.
#84
My friend in high school was kinda creepy and had a face to match. (Poor guy) He was very immature and did a lot of childish things and barely passed classes. I don’t think he has any mental illness but I don’t know for certain. He was a constant distraction in classes.
But what was actually concerning was the fact he constantly made school shooting jokes and even bragged about his family owning an AR-15. He showed pictures of it at school and when anyone would ignore his childlike behavior he would threaten to shoot up the school. To put it simply, I eventually stopped interacting with him much but kept a VERY close tabs on him. I’m glad those years are over.
#85
Went through quite a bit together but I started to realize it was rather one-sided on multiple levels for a long while, and then I would only hear from them when they needed something. I just faded on it.
#86
She just stopped talking to me in covid. I was in her wedding and we had been roommates. But then she told me weekends were for her husband, which actually meant weekends were only for other couples. A mutual friend got married and didn’t invite me to the wedding, and we never spoke again.
#87
Best I can figure, she got divorced, I didn’t. She got new bf, and that was the end of it. Last time I saw her, we ran into each other 7 years ago. We both cried. She said it was all her, she’s sorry. I said lets get together for coffee or lunch. She said text me. I did. She wrote back let me check my schedule. That was the last I heard from her.
#88
One of my old BFFs thought drinking and driving was a competition. No thanks.