While we tend to think of stalkers as cloaked men, following from the shadows, in the age of the internet, they tend to prefer to remain anonymous and at a greater distance, which is still cold comfort for the people who receive their thoughts, threats and “jokes” through text and email.
Netizens share all the weird and creepy texts that stalkers have sent them. Scroll through and comment your thoughts below. We also got in touch with KikiMay, a feminist content creator and communications specialist to learn more.
#1 Persistent Online Stalkers
Image credits: Spzncer
#2 “It Was 15 Times At Once Gosh. I’m Not A Stalker. You Guys Are Idiots”
Image credits: futuregirlconan
#3 I Am Not A Stalker!
Image credits: BlackMistPhoenix
Bored Panda got in touch with KikiMay, a feminist content creator and researcher and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions. First and foremost, we wanted to know why women tend to be the primary victims of stalkers.
“When you look at the fact that women are more than twice as likely to be stalked as men, that men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators of stalking, and that most women report knowing their stalker or being in an intimate relationship with him – you really can’t ignore the role that gender plays here. Men in the U.S. grow up in a patriarchal society that teaches and reinforces ideas about men being entitled to women’s bodies, and men as leaders or decision-makers who should be given deference and care.”
#4 I’m Actually A Nice Stalker!
Image credits: JohnLyte
#5 My Stalker Has “Endless Numbers”
So I’m quick to block anything I don’t recognize but will occasionally check my blacked messages folder to make sure I didn’t block anyone other than him. I’m mostly just posting here just incase I disappear. I’m sure the local police are fatigued by him by now.
Image credits: consideratedealer
#6 Stalker To The Max!
Image credits: F**kALLTheWayOff
“When women reject men’s advances, it seems incongruous to the way men have been raised to think things “ought to be,” and one result of that is to not take no for an answer by stalking. It helps men regain that sense of control, and it also helps reinforce the idea with their victims that they should be afraid of them – and of men, in general – if they behave in ways that aren’t in accordance with traditional gender roles,” she shared with Bored Panda.
#7 My Neck Bone Fetish Stalker Came Back Guys… Its Been Three Months Since He First Contacted Me
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#8 My (Male) Friend’s Stalker (Female) Is Nothing But Persistent And Straight To The Point
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#9 My Husband’s Obsessive Stalker Is Back, I Hope He Doesn’t Threaten Our Neighbors And Their Children Again. I Don’t Want Go Through That Again Especially At 22 Weeks Pregnant
Image credits: reddit.com
“We also can’t ignore the ways in which institutionalized sexism and misogyny helps men get away with stalking behaviors against women more often. Women are less likely to be believed by police officers and medical professionals. They’re often seen as overreacting, for instance – even though the vast majority of women who were stalked by an intimate partner were also physically or sexually assaulted by the same partner.”
#10 College Guys… I Mean This Is Stalker Level
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#11 For A Minute I Thought This Was My Stalker Ex Boyfriend. Not Sure If I Should Feel Relief Or Not
Image credits: reddit.com
#12 Sent Flowers To My GF, Stalker Gets Upset And Calls Florist Who Then Gave Them My Name
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“And then there’s the shame women feel – like they must have done something to cause this kind of behavior – because living in a society where sexism and misogyny are so interwoven into the fabric of our day-to-day lives means that victim blaming just seems normal. She should have chosen a better partner, she should have left the first time – but it’s this very shame that allows them to be victimized more, because they often won’t report their stalking, or they’ll be more susceptible to gaslighting by their stalker about how they “made” him do what he’s doing. It’s a vicious cycle.”
#13 Recently Gave A Dude Directions On A Street, Gave Him Fake # But He Caught On
I live and work downtown and am easy to find unfortunately. Guess I have a stage 5 clinger, even after rejection.
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#14 Comment On A News Article. Teenage Girl Abducted By Her Stalker
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#15 “I’m A Creepy Stalker, But You’re A S**t Person If You Don’t Want To Stay With Me!
Image credits: Ultramen1
From the other side, we wanted to hear why she thought many men were likely to engage in this sort of behavior. “I think I touched upon this in my first answer – growing up in a patriarchal society means that men feel entitled to women’s bodies, time, and attention – but I’ll try to expand here. Men often view relationships as transactional, so they’re thrown off-kilter if they buy a woman a drink or dinner and then they don’t get what they were expecting in return – which is usually sex or some form of physical intimacy – but can also just be praise or admiration.”
#16 Crazy Stalker Get Jealous When Seen With My Boyfriend
Image credits: MainSecretary
#17 Ngvc: “I’m Not Gonna Do Anything To You, I Just Think You’re Really Pretty”
Image credits: Accuparaccu
#18 My Boyfriend’s Crazy Stalker
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“When you grow up in a society where you are centered and privileged, where everything built – from the chair you’re sitting into the TV programs you watch and the stores you shop in – were specifically designed for you – it can be destabilizing to not get what you want. And for some, that destabilization leads to dangerous, unacceptable behaviors like stalking. For others, it goes a step further to violence.”
#19 Stalker And Person Who Sa’ed Me Forgave Me
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#20 Went To A Game Store For A Figure, Came Out With A Stalker
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#21 Nice Guy Decides To Stalk Girl He Meets On Train. Then Gets Mad That She Doesn’t Like Stalkers
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“We’ve already seen so many mass shootings motivated by men feeling they’ve not gotten what they’re owed by women – Elliot Rodger being among the most famous, who called his act a “day of retribution” for the women who rejected him. Men feel they deserve explanations for rejections or break ups – which is ironic, given that if their reaction to such things is to stalk, berate, assault, or abuse, it should be pretty evident why someone might not want to be with them.”
#22 My Sisters Stalker Of 3 Years With A New Number After Being Blocked Everywhere Else
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#23 My Friend Sent Me These Messages From Her Stalker
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#24 Wtf… Sure She Could Be Telling The Truth, Other Than That This Could Be A Stalker Ass Creep
Image credits: FifaorPesmobile
We inquired if she herself had ever dealt with these sorts of issues. “Luckily, I’ve never been the victim of stalking. Because I’m a feminist content creator, though, I’m no stranger to threatening and abusive DMs – from physical threats to threats of doxing, etc., and then just run-of-the-mill ad-hominem attacks using highly gendered language. And it’s sad to say – but most women, and especially most with feminist or social justice platforms – will be wholly unsurprised by this admission.”
#25 I’m Not A Creepy Stalker Or Anything
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#26 My Elementary School Stalker Finds Me On Instagram
After never talking/seeing each other for 15 years (this screenshot is the most tame part of this entire interaction).
Image credits: Character_Primary875
#27 My Friend’s Creepy Co-Working Stalker
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“In fact, it’s just seen as something that comes along with the territory. Though we can acknowledge it’s unacceptable, we can also acknowledge how normalized it’s become and how little is done to stop it from social media platforms, authorities, or Government Institutions. I think it’s also important to note that as a woman, I’ve also dealt with my fair share of entitled men IRL who’ve hounded me – whether through text messages or in-person – for sex, dating, and attention. And oftentimes, as a woman, you’re forced to weigh whether it’s worth it to say no or if acquiescing simply feels safer. Because if we’ve learned anything, it’s that bruising a male ego can have life-altering or life-ending consequences.”
She left us with these partying thoughts: “I’d love to bring up a really important point that Cornell professor and feminist author “Kate Manne discusses in her book, Entitled: How Male Privilege Hurts Women. She says that the misogyny that leads to behaviors like stalking, rape, and assault is not about dehumanizing women and thinking of them as prizes or rewards. That makes it seem like because men don’t see women as human, that’s the excuse for them perpetrating these behaviors. It almost removes them from the deeply personal nature of their crimes. But the reality, she says, is that interpersonal violence is a thing you do to persons, not to inanimate objects.”
#28 This Girl Stole My Phone Number Out Of My Friends Phone, My Friend Then Told Me She Had ‘Stalker Type’ Qualities And To Stay Away.. She Still Sends Messages To This Day
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#29 I Know You Found My Reddit Too You Fkn Stalker. Leave Me Alone. Texts From January And Instagram Messages From Last Week
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#30 Apparently I Had A Secret Stalker Back When I Lived In The Dorms
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“Manne says what’s really going on is not that men misperceive what women are, but rather, that they have a mistaken moral ideology of what women are for…which is to say that men believe women are for providing the sorts of goods – sex, submission, praise, attention – that men are entitled to, instead of believing that women are autonomous individuals who get to decide to whom, how, when, and where they provide any of those things – if at all.”
Kiki has a dual Bachelor of Arts degree in Media & Communication and Political Science, and a Master of Arts degree in Communication, where her work centered on the intersection of gender and power and explored representations of female leaders in cable news programming. Her research has been featured by the Association for Education in Journalism and Mass Communication and her writing has been published in various print and online mediums. She hopes to be able to become a full-time feminist content creator and writer so she can share her real name in the social media space soon. Until then, she’s operating under the watchful eye of the man, so you can find her posting on TikTok and Instagram, both under the username kikimay612.
#31 I’m Just A Stalker!
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#32 Asked A Stalker Type Guy To Leave Me Alone Because I Have A Boyfriend And This Was The Response I Got, Lmao
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#33 Catfish Dating App Guy P2 (He’s Getting Close To Stalker Mode, Third Number He’s Contacted Me With Since First Blocked)
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#34 So My Stalker Found My Business
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#35 Found On A Video Of A Stalker Who K**led A Woman That Rejected Him
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#36 Ngvc: “It’s Unfair That All Women Only Go For Toxic Mascular Guys But Going For Famous ‘Feminime’ Guys Is Unfair Too”
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#37 I Guess This Nice Guy Is Also A Stalker…
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#38 Crazy Stalker Ex-Boyfriend Won’t Let Go
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#39 I Have No Idea How He Knows The Name Of My School.. I Think I Have A Stalker
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#40 This Guy’s Comment On Lady’s Post About Dealing With A Potential Stalker While Living Off Grid. He’s Definitely An Incel
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#41 I’m Not A Stalker, Damn It, I’m Nice!
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#42 Clearing Out Old Paperwork And Came Across Harassment Records And Police Reports From My *mildly* Psychotic Stalker. Good Times
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#43 Once A Friend Turned Sexual Harasser/Stalker Thinks He Is Still A Nice Guy And That Me Telling His Dad What He Did Was Worse Than What He Did To Me
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#44 3 Years After I Blocked Him For Stalking Me
We went on one date. He made 7 fake profiles, stalked me at work, and home. Also faked his own death to get me to talk to his “friend” (aka another fake profile)
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#45 From Stalker To ‘Nice Guy’ – Or How Not To Win Friends And Influence People
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#46 I Have A Stalker And He Left Me This Book. I’m Creeped Out Right Now
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#47 Oc: Psycho Stalker
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#48 She Wanted A Latte, But Instead Got A Stalker
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#49 This Guy Is Our Stalker. My So And I Have Been Getting Messages Like These Regularly For The Past Year And A Half
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#50 I Think This Redditor Might Be A Stalker
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#51 More Stalker Fan Mail
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#52 My Stalker Posted This On Instagram
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#53 My Creepy Niceguy Stalker Is Back. This Time He Attacks My Child That Doesnt Exist And Is Still Salty About My Lack Of Nonexistent Feet Pics
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