Navigating disagreements and finding compromises in emotionally charged situations are two skills that practically everyone is going to want to learn. For instance, getting along with your neighbors means setting healthy boundaries, communicating clearly, and knowing when to take a step back, as well as when to stand your ground. It also means getting used to a bit of chaos, especially if the walls are paper thin—like the sounds of someone tidying up.
Redditor u/AdmirableAd1626 shared how she got into an argument with one of her new neighbors who got mad at her for vacuuming during the day. Read on to find out exactly what happened, as well as how the internet reacted to this disagreement between neighbors.
Disputes between neighbors over noise are a common problem
Image credits: Liliana Drew (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how her new neighbors demanded that she stop vacuuming in the middle of the day
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: AdmirableAd1626
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Thin walls mean that everyone hears what everyone else is doing
The crux of the problem, it seems, is the fact that the walls in that particular apartment building are extremely thin. That means that no matter what you say or do, the people living in the units above, below, and next to you will hear nearly everything.
So if a family doesn’t have the budget to insulate their walls or move out, they basically have two options left: either embrace the noise as part and parcel of living there or talk to the neighbors to try and find a solution that works for everyone. In this case, the new neighbors didn’t want the OP to tidy up at noon because one of them works the late shift and they have a baby that takes naps.
If the family and the OP occupied the only two apartments in the building, they could easily come to some sort of arrangement. However, what puts this entire situation in a bit of a grey area is that redditor u/AdmirableAd1626 purposefully vacuums during the day so she doesn’t irritate the other neighbors. Now, if she were to change her vacuuming time, she might get on someone else’s nerves. That’s why she decided to stand her ground when her new neighbors came a-knockin’.
Well, some redditors reading the story thought that the OP was perfectly within her rights to vacuum whenever she wants to during the day. However, quite a few internet users pointed out that she could have phrased things a bit differently.
Some even suggested that she had enough flexibility to change when she vacuums because she works from home. We’d love to hear what you Pandas think about the entire situation, who was in the wrong, and how you would’ve handled the conflict. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
Always look for ways to find common ground instead of escalating the conflict
The Seattle Times notes that the best way to resolve a dispute between neighbors is opting for compromise instead of escalating the conflict. In short, your main goal shouldn’t be to win the argument (even if you’re completely right) or prove just how wrong your neighbor is. Your goal should be to end the problematic behavior.
So in the case of the family that’s just moved to the OP’s building, their aim is to have peace and quiet so that they can sleep during the day. In the OP’s case, the problematic behavior is the new neighbors trying to control when she does her household chores. The easiest solution here would probably be for the redditor to change when she vacuums, but this might cause problems for the other tenants.
A costlier solution, but one that might pay off far more if the family plans on staying in the building for a long time, is investing in renovating the unit. If the walls were to be upgraded so that they don’t leak so much sound, then there’s no need to ask the entire building to be as quiet as a church mouse at noon.
Let’s face it, the traffic outside and the people in the street won’t be silent just because we wish it to be. Nor will all of your neighbors stop bustling during the busiest time of the day! Remember, we’re talking about someone doing chores while the sun’s up, not blasting music at night.
You have to evaluate the situation and pick your battles
According to Moving.com, the first thing that you should do is determine whether your neighbor is genuinely making your quality of life worse or if they’re merely an occasional annoyance. If it’s a repeating issue that keeps annoying you, it’s probably worth tackling it. It’s quite likely that your neighbors don’t know that their behavior is an issue until someone tells them about it. And that goes for everyone equally: we’re often not aware of our own flaws and the wider impact of our actions either.
Before you arrange your friendly face-to-face meeting (preferably in neutral territory), do a bit of research on the rules of the apartment building or your local community. If there are specific regulations that your neighbors keep walking all over, then you’ve got a strong case against them. It also helps if you’re not the only one with an issue. Talk to the other locals about your neighbor’s (potentially) problematic behavior and see if they’re bothering anyone else.
Just remember to be clear, friendly, and polite when you broach the subject. The last thing that you want is to sound like you’re accusing them or that you’re giving them an ultimatum. They’ll only get defensive and be more likely to stick to their guns. Offer them a compromise and see how they react. If the conflict escalates, consider reaching out to the building manager or—if the situation is completely out of control and your quality of life is suffering—get in touch with the authorities or your legal representative.
Some internet users thought that the author of the post did nothing wrong
However, many others thought that nobody was blameless here
The post Woman Asks If She’s A Jerk For Not Accommodating Her Neighbor With Her Time Of Vacuuming first appeared on Bored Panda.