Many of us know just how challenging it is to raise kids. Not only do you have to juggle cooking and household chores with an actual job, but you also have to be an entertainer, help with homework, and learn to make idle chitchat with the other grownups at the playground. In short, parenting is a rollercoaster ride, and one way or another, you must embrace the ups, downs, and loop-de-loops.
Here’s the thing, though, children can be unintentionally savage with their comments. Redditor u/beardlesshipster sparked an online discussion when they asked people what their kids have done that hurt their feelings without them realizing it. You’ll find the most interesting stories—both serious and slightly silly—as you scroll down.
We wanted to find out how some parents react to their kids’ stinging comments, so we reached out to parenting blogger Samantha Scroggin, the founder of ‘Walking Outside in Slippers.’ She shared her thoughts with Bored Panda on both accidentally mean comments and intentionally rude ones, too. Check out what she told us below!
#1
My 5 year old daughter said she wanted a new mommy because I don’t have a pretty face. She didn’t realize it would be hurtful I guess.
Image credits: nickgalentine
#2
My almost three year-old twins often tell me I’m not invited to their birthday party.
Image credits: Cavi_
#3
My 12 year old son basically ignores me as much as he can. It’s puberty and it’s all normal but a year ago I was still his favorite person and now it’s all about his friends, girls, and video games. And I’m the uncoolest person on the planet apparently. I made him go for a walk with me and the dog the other day just to try to have some conversation and he said “Why do you make me do things that make me unhappy?”, to which I responded, “Spending time with me makes you unhappy?”. And he said “Yes”. I told him he could turn around and go back home then and he did. I cried the whole way to the dog park.
Image credits: frisbeemassage
“Kids definitely lack filters, especially my kids. Their comments can be especially biting since there is usually some truth behind them. At least truth from their limited perspective,” Samantha, who runs the ‘Walking Outside in Slippers’ blog, told Bored Panda via email.
“But if they are not trying to be mean, I try to remember that we value open communication in our family and hear the message buried in the possibly hurtful comment. If they are being intentionally unkind, that’s an opportunity to have a conversation about the importance of being kind and considerate of others’ feelings,” she shared how parents can learn not to take these mean comments to heart.
“All that said, it still sucks to hear nasty remarks even from kids.”
#4
Four year old – “Daddy, I love you”
Me – “Thanks bug, I love you too”
Four year old – “Daddy, I love mommy more though.”
Image credits: HowdyAudi
#5
When my daughter gets a night terror at night she will tell me crying, that she wished I died instead of mommy…… She hasn’t done it for a couple of months now but, it hurts more than I can bear. I calm her down and get her back to sleep and usually go to my room and cry
Image credits: Skrowtom
#6
Both of my kids make a lot of comments about my body and some of them can sting. Last week my 5 year old said my arms were like bags of cookie dough.
Image credits: goodnightrose
We were also curious to get blogger Samantha’s thoughts on how parents might address intentional rudeness from their kids so that they’ll understand the impact that their words can have.
“We talk to our kids a lot about the impact words and actions have on others. When an example of bullying comes up, we discuss that and how being bullied feels,” the founder of ‘Walking Outside in Slippers’ told Bored Panda.
“We ensure our kids say ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ and try to model a good example in front of them. But they are still young impressionable minds that are learning, and we are often correcting them and asking them to stop calling each other rude names. It’s a work in progress, and will continue to be.”
#7
Every time they say that their dads new wife cooks better food than me.
Well someday they will appreciate real food…
Image credits: sweet-royal-blue
#8
Yesterday, my 4yo motioned for me to come really close to his face and whispered, “Dad, you are useless.”
Image credits: fattysmite
#9
My wife and I alternate between kids at bedtime. Whoever gets me is the “loser” and cries everytime. This has been happening everyday for 2 years.
Image credits: 45Jung
At the end of the day, kids are still growing, so they might not be fully aware of what they’re saying or the kind of impact their words can have on others. For children, saying that they love one parent more than the other might be God’s honest truth… or it can be a wayward and impulsive comment that they simply felt like saying right then and there, without putting much thought into it.
But for parents, hearing this sort of stuff can sting. Especially if they’re feeling overworked, overwhelmed, and underappreciated at home. However, the best approach here is to try and embrace these accidentally hurtful comments. Laugh them off or use them as a springboard for some witty back-and-forth. Or, if their comments were particularly hurtful, you could start a friendly discussion with some serious undertones about the kind of effect that words have.
#10
My teenage son came across some old wedding photos that his dad had put away for him at his office. When his step-Mom discovered these photos, she became upset, so my son threw them away to avoid the drama. These photos were 24 years old. There are no duplicates and my son doesn’t understand why I’m upset that he didn’t just bring them to me.
Image credits: 4ngie
#11
I am a long time widower. Me and my son were left alone and used to be really close. After he moved to college, he used to call everyday. I lived for that phone call. Gradually they started decreasing from once on two days to once a week. Now he has a girlfriend and rarely talks to me. I sometimes watch his Instagram and feel sad. I wish he would call more.
Image credits: bringallyourcash
#12
Ask me every morning if I’ll even try to smell good that day.
Image credits: Muuusicalguest
According to ‘iMom,’ the mean things that children say are “their way of expressing feelings rather than describing their actual feelings about you,” so it’s essential that parents don’t take these things too personally.
However, what is important is showing your child that you’re there for them and that you’re actively listening to what they’re saying. Dismissing their (mean) words outright isn’t the way to go. Solving small conflicts and addressing issues is a good way to bond with your child.
#13
My adult kids say “old” whenever I send them a meme I think is funny. It just makes me feel bad for some reason.
Image credits: oldladyfromtitanic
#14
I’m divorced with split custody.
My ex has a large extended family that lives nearby and they are always together letting the little cousins all play together. My family is the exact opposite-live hours away and nobody young to have play dates with.
So, weekly my five year old cries when it’s time to go to my house because it’s “not as fun as Dad’s “. I am on a budget and can’t afford to take her out every week to the zoo or movies..every single dollar is budgeted.
It makes me cry often when I see how excited she is to go to his house because mine is boring. I just want her to know that I’m trying.
Image credits: Mrs_Hannah
#15
“I like Dad, he’s more fun.” Look, I don’t like being the disciplinarian, either, but I feel like I have to sometimes. Sucks to be seen as the less-preferred parent for doing something I wish I didn’t have to do in the first place.
Image credits: falseinsight
Open and honest communication can work wonders here, too. If your child has genuinely hurt you with their tirade, tell them about it. Of course, be careful to stress the fact that you still love them, but that they need to find different, better ways of sharing their feelings.
Alternatively, there might be some deep-seated issues at play here other than the parents themselves. Perhaps the kid is having issues at school or with friends and is simply offloading their emotions on you. Dig deeper, and look for the root cause of the grumbling and meanness.
#16
One Halloween when my son was like 4 our little nuclear family went to a corn maze for fun. To make things a little more exciting the proprietors had also set a tipi with a giant pumpkin inside. You were suppose to go into the tipi and make a wish on the pumpkin. So we sent my son in make a wish and he says “I wish it was just me and mommy and daddy was at work.”
My heart shrank three sizes that day.
He’s 20 now and is still mortified with guilt over saying this.
Image credits: DayOfTheDonut
#17
My daughter hurts my feelings BAD in just one situation: I’ll say “I love you!” and she’ll reply with, “No daddy, I DON’T love you.”
She is only 2 though, and I don’t think she has a firm grasp on what love really is, and I think she’s truthfully just showing off her vocabulary skills, but it still hurts…
Image credits: daddioz
#18
When she throws food in the ground / doesn’t eat. Like, that costs money which I earned by working overtime every week for the last year. It feels like she’s throwing my life on the ground.
Image credits: justcantalope
#19
Sometimes my 4yr old says were not best friends anymore. It stings a little but I realize she’s four and like 5 minutes later she says were best friends again.
Image credits: Trashcancomic
#20
I have a daughter, 12. We’ve always been pretty close, and in most ways we still are. We’ve always done everything together…but, she’s at the age now where friends, etc. are becoming more important.
I’ll bring up something we can do, like watching a movie that I think she’ll like. Five minutes in, she’ll get a message from a friend, light up, and just disappear for the rest of the movie.
Now, I get it. I’m sure I was like that too. I’m not gonna freak out about it or anything……but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt my feelings a little now and then.
Dads just want to keep dadding.
Image credits: stinnett76
#21
As a stepfather, hearing the phrase “you’re not my father”
Secondly, being ignored on Father’s Day
#22
My daughter is a mommy’s girl through and through but it really hurts her dad’s feeling when she goes out of way to avoid giving him hugs or being in a two foot radius of him. The only time she acknowledges his presence is when he has snacks but even then she is more than happy to take her share and come sit with me instead.
#23
Before my back surgery I had to use a cane to get around. My son told me that it was embarrassing to be seen with me.
I acted like it didn’t bother me, but it cut deep. After my surgery I was determined to get rid of the cane so my son wouldn’t be embarrassed by me. It took many painful months of physical therapy along with surgery, but I haven’t walked with a cane in 3 years. I don’t think I would’ve worked as long and hard as I did without my son hurting my feelings like that.
#24
My kids have (unwittingly, giving them the benefit of her doubt) picked up a habit from their dad (my ex) that kills me. When I try to share things from my childhood, or stories or whatnot, they either mock me or roll their eyes and say “yeah, whatever. Can we talk about something else now?” It used to be really humiliating when it came from their dad, but it’s next level hurtful when it comes from my own kids. I’ve always had a hard time sharing and opening up to people, so it just feels like getting crushed every time I try. I know they’re kids and they don’t really understand what they’re doing, but it makes me sad. I do have some happy memories that I’d love to share with them, but they aren’t interested.
#25
Step dad
Biological father is around an afternoon a month here and there. I’m full time dad with her. No happy Father’s Day. Not even happy birthday unless mom prompts.
But I get it. My wife gets the same treatment from my daughters from another marriage.
Blended families are a challenge.
#26
My wife abandoned me and my 4 children a little over 2 years ago. When I discipline my 2 older kids they’ll start crying for their mother and say they want to go live with mommy, even though she hasn’t even called in the last 8 months…
#27
One time my kids played iSpy, and said “something yellow”. It was my teeth.
#28
My daughter picks my husband over me, constantly. I get that it’s because he is physically incapable of saying no or disciplining her so to a 4 year old he’s the bees knees while I get to be Captain No Fun, but it still hurts. She went on a vacation with her grandma for 2 weeks and we picked them up from the airport and she came barreling out of arrivals and straight into his arms screaming and laughing and I got a “hey mom”.
I have spoken to him about how spoiling her, in the long run, isn’t going to do her any favours and it’s probaby one of the few things we do actually fight and argue on when it comes to parenting. He just sees the immediate “happy smiling kid” result of giving in and getting her what she wants I see the future “s****y spoiled brat who thinks they’re entitled to EVERYTHING” result.
Image credits: magicfluff
#29
Whenever I cook a big dinner with a new recipe of something I thought my kids would love. My son will always tell me it looks bad and he’s not hungry anymore and my daughter will follow with anything he says. Of course, 15 minutes after I eat alone and sad, they ask for chicken nuggets.
Image credits: Nailwielder
#30
Fight, where they really try to hurt each other. I had no idea as a kid how bad it is for the parent. The first time it happened when they were very small, it felt like watching cannibalism, just horrifying. And to think I used to worry about the dog.
Image credits: StartingVortex
#31
I gained 30 pounds after hitting 30. My daughter always asks me when the baby is due mockingly. That’s the only thing I can think of.
I don’t really give a s**t though. I’m single for life and I like tacos. P**s off kid.
Image credits: thebarwench
#32
When my kid says over and over again that she wants her dad to put her to bed instead of me.
Gee…. thanks. I’ll just go sit and read a bedtime story to my c-section scar instead….
Image credits: VenomousUnicorn
#33
I spent thousands of dollars in court to stand up to my ex-wife so my son could attend an internship his senior year.
He didn’t finish the internship, accused me of never supporting him and then went to live with his mother after he graduated because he wanted to smoke weed, forgeting the experience he learned during his internship.
Image credits: billiarddaddy
#34
When my son begs me to help him make something in the garage and then in the middle of explaining to him how we’re going to do it….. asks me if he can go play Minecraft instead.
Before the “you’re boring” comments we were designing a fidget spinner in CAD to print on the 3D printer. He was doing the work himself.
Image credits: anon
#35
My 4.5 yr old daughter screaming “I HATE YOU AND I DONT WANT YOU AS MY FATHER ANYMORE” during a tantrum, or after I discipline her. She has no idea what she’s saying, and she doesn’t mean it, but it still stings every time. Basically toddler cussing.
Image credits: royal_clam
#36
Ah, last year my wife spent the whole summer making it as great as she could for our, then 6 year old, holidays, theme parks, everything she could. They did loads together. Got a phone call at work from wife crying/furious. At the end of it going back to school, she’d asked what she had enjoyed most. “The day trip to London”, only problem was that was with me, at Easter.
Still it was an absolutely awesome day.
Image credits: gumbrilla
#37
When I drop them off at a party or day camp and I go to say bye, they’ve already gone off with friends. Kids are getting older now so it’s not cool to kiss or hug dad goodbye, but man it stings, and I sure dont want to emberass them so I just sadly walk to my car.
Image credits: johnnylovesbjs
#38
My oldest is a teenager and now he won’t do anything with me. Or tell me about his day. Or let me help with anything. Or even sit on the couch and watch a show with me quietly. Or let me touch him at all. It sucks. I just want a hug from my kid.
#39
We watch a lot of Disney. As a stay at home dad with a wife who works a lot my kids are “ok” with mom’s dying but crushed when there’s a sad father/son moment (GOTG2 and Spider-Man/Tony Stark as examples).
I know it hurts her feelings.
Conversely- as a stay at home dad when my kids say I don’t do anything all day. Not meanly, it just never occurs to them that I drive them everywhere, cook them each individual lunches and dinners, do their laundry, clean the house, etc, etc.
When we plan something special for them and they act exasperated. Ie: I’m sitting in an Apple Sphero class for them right now. My son complained when we showed up (surprise) because he has a brand new Thanos LEGO set at home that he wanted to play with because he needs some “down time” from being at Disney all week.
My kid is spoiled AF and I just realized it